Summer is here. The shops are full of gorgeous floaty dresses, pretty little tops, strappy sandals and the rails are jam packed with the summer wardrobe staple we all love to hate – the bikini. I have always felt a bit selfconscious in a bikini but never enough to consider not wearing one. I am naturally small and although I have some body hang ups, I have never despised my body. Since having kids, my body confidence has understandably taken a knock but every time we visited the beach last summer, my belly didn’t flip with nerves when I took my beach dress off and stood on the sand in just a bikini. Thanks to exercising regularly after the birth of my second baby and having a pretty awesome cleavage thanks to breastfeeding, last summer I felt the best I have ever felt about my body. I wish I could say the same about it as the summer holidays approach this year. You see, my body confidence has plummeted and it is not because my thighs are a bit squishier than they once were, or because I have a permanent ‘look who had a big lunch’ pot belly, I am not feeling as confident in my skin this summer because my babies stole my boobs. Yup, you read that correctly, my babies STOLE MY BOOBS!
Help! My babies stole my boobs – what no one tells you about post breastfeeding boobs.
Breastfeeding is amazing, if you read my blog regularly then you know just how passionate I am about it. Despite breastmilk being best for baby and that breastfeeding can, for some mothers, be a wonderful bonding experience, it does have it’s downsides. When new mums are in the thick of trying to establish feeding with a newborn, they can suffer horrible side effects like crapped nipples, bleeding nipples, breasts that feel like rocks trying to rip through their skin and an insatiable hunger and thirst that can never be quenched (not to mention never getting a moment to breathe as they have a baby stuck to their chest almost every single hour of the day). Despite all the hardship, and it is so hard for so many, once breastfeeding is established it can be a really special and wonderful thing. I was sort of warned from midwives, my mum and the baby websites I spent hours reading when I was pregnant that breastfeeding isn’t always as simple as it may seem but no one, not one random old lady admiring my newborn or any of the articles I read on BabyCenter, warned me that once the breastfeeding stage was over I would be left with the chest of a barely adolescent girl.
Mother Nature gives you a bloody fantastic rack when you are breastfeeding (there has got to be some superficial perks to the job, right?) and in some kind of cruel joke, she snatches them away once you have weaned your baby. After all that time spent nurturing our babies, sacrificing our sleep and our bodies to keep our tiny humans alive. We don’t get rewarded for our efforts, instead our boobs disappear and we end up with a chest that resembles a pair of fried eggs, they deflate like burst balloons. Of course, this is not the case for all breastfeeding mums but when I had a moan on Instagram after a depressing trip to the shops (I couldn’t find a bra small enough to fit me), I had several mums say they too have experienced the awful post breastfeeding cleavage shrinkage.
You don’t need to know my bra size, all I will say is it is smaller than when I first started wearing bras as a teen. Before kids, in my late teens and early twenties, I had no issues with my lady lumps; I was on the pill and I think the extra hormones worked wonders for me in the boob department. My first pregnancy saw me running to the shops to buy bigger bras and I genuinely woke up three days after Leo was born looking like a plastic surgeon had appeared in the night and performed breast enhancement surgery on me as I slept. I fed Leo for 10 months and experienced my first case of the mysterious shrinking boobs. They grew back again when I got pregnant for the second time and stuck around for the 15months I fed him, but now? Well, now there is just nothing left. My breasts have given up, they gave all they could possibly give through my pregnancies and periods of breastfeeding and I think they must now be feeling as defeated as they look.
I hate going clothes shopping, women’s clothes are designed with boobs in mind and when you have barely a handful to hide under the fabric, tops just end up looking saggy and weird. Low cut dresses are a no go zone and even the most padded push up bra won’t work if there isn’t anything there to enhance in the first place. I could go bra free, let the fried eggs be free from the pointless lingerie that confines them but, the truth is, I don’t want to. I like pretty bras, I like feeling sexy but, thanks to breastfeeding, I want to cry every time I see myself with no top on. I am fed up with putting off bikini shopping because I just know none of them are going to look right. I hate feeling jealous every time I see a girl with an amazing cleavage wearing a gorgeous dress with a plunging neckline, whilst I am too hot in my baggy tops that I wear to try and disguise what I am so obviously missing.
Can we talk about post breastfeeding boobs for a minute? Like, honestly? I had an emotional breakdown in the shop changing rooms today when I was trying on bras. Since I stopped feeding Alex in February it would seem my boobs have completely vanished. Is this normal? I have breastfed both my babies and Mother Nature has thanked me by stealing my cleavage and leaving me with nothing. With summer just around the corner, bikini season and the time for wearing cute strappy tops, I’m feeling pretty miserable and self conscious. Anyone else’s body dramatically changed after weaning? Despite the fact I now have the chest of a 10 year old, I wouldn’t go back in time and do things differently..breastfeeding my boys was worth every single tear shed in a shop fitting room and if I ever have number 3 I will sacrifice what boobs are left to feed them too 💕
Women come in all shapes and sizes, I just wish less emphasis was put on the small section below our necks and above our bellies when society conjures the image of a ‘real woman’. I might have very small hips and teeny tiny boobs but I am still a real woman, my heart beats and I breathe in and out – I am as real as they come. Maybe I would feel more comfortable in my bikini this summer if I didn’t feel like I am not ‘real’ enough because my chest size has more than halved since last swimwear season? Looking at the bigger picture for a moment, my chest has gone because of breastfeeding, a positive thing, there are so many women out there who are crying when they see themselves in the mirror because they no longer have a cleavage for much more heart breaking reasons. There are women who have had breast cancer or a preventative mastectomy, I am lucky that I am just flat chested because I used my boobs to do their job and they did it so well they burnt themselves out. I feel vain and a bit pathetic moaning about my lack of boobs when so many women have gone through real traumatic times and don’t even have an A cup like me, they literally have nothing left at all.
Maybe I shouldn’t be complaining at all? So what if I don’t have the perky, full, bouncy boobs that used to sit proudly on my chest, does it really matter? My cleavage is gone because I breastfed both my boys, the fatty tissue was replaced with milk but now that has all dried up. They will fill out again a bit but they will never be what they were, I will probably always have a little cry when I go lingerie shopping, it’s ok though. If I could go back in time and save my boobs and bottle feed my boys instead, would I? There is no way, feeding my boys was such a special time and, yes, it lead to the premature death of my cleavage but if another baby ever came along, I would breastfeed them too.
My babies stole my boobs and they can never give them back, I love those boys beyond words though so I guess they are forgiven. Next stop, boob job learning to love my post breastfeeding boobs.
Did you breastfeed? What happened to your boobs when you weaned? If you don’t mind sharing your story, I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments. Let’s help first time mums, wondering what the hell has happened to their boobs after breastfeeding, see that a bit of shrinkage is totally normal.
Pin Me!
If you liked this post, you may also enjoy reading..
My breastfeeding diary
Learning to love my postpartum body
How to get fit after pregnancy – tips from a personal trainer
If you enjoyed this post I would love for you to share it 🙂
Oh I relate to this so much! I have been a DD since freshman year of high school! I have always been a fan of my girls and when I started breastfeeding, they were up to my neck when they were full. But after 7 months of feeding, several bouts of mastitis and weening, I have no idea what size I am, and my poor girls are like pancakes. A sad shadow of what they used to be. That post-baby body confidence has yet to be found and I can only imagine how it will be after baby number 2.
Cheers to all the moms who have dealt with this and thrived! May we all catch up with you!
#BlogCrush
I have been a 32dd since I can remember, but it’s the shape that has changed for me. I now need tighter straps to give my pups any chance against gravity. It’s not just breastfeeding – at 50 everything looks different. It just starts with the boobs and belly after babies. We might as well make peace with it haha xx
Wendy, I’m sure a lot of young mums will benefit from your post. I hope that you will learn to see what everyone else surely sees when they look at you: a lovely, petite, young woman. Think of the beautiful models and actresses, such as Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Lupita Nyong’o, Daisy Ridley. And think positive thoughts about yourself every time you look in the mirror.
Jean | DelightfulRepast.com recently posted…Tomatillo Salsa Verde – For Streamlined Cooking
I can definitely relate to this post. With my daughter I went up to an E cup what breastfeeding and back down to an A cup afterwards. I also really struggle with getting a good bra fitted now as I feel I’ve got loose skin on my breasts that doesn’t fit well into bras. Thanks for making me feel I’m not alone.
Our bodies are never the same after pregnancy and breast feeding but when you think of what we have achieved with our body I think we are doing pretty good! Having said that I have just bought myself a swimsuit for the first time because I would rather be more covered up this year after having a baby last summer!
Joanne recently posted…You know you are a mum when…
I breastfed all three of my babies and yep, boobs are gone. Totally. So is my pre-pregnancy body. I think, at 42, I’m going through a mourning phase about the loss, to be honest!
Elizabeth recently posted…6-Ingredient Vegan Beetroot Falafel Burgers
grieving my youthful body is something I didn’t know I would have to do at 22. No one prepares you for it…
i’ve always had big boobs – bigger when breastfeeding, bigger when i gained weight. I discovered that ,yes, clothes may be made for boobs, but only up to a certain size. Nothing from ‘fashion’ shops put enough material in the boob dept. I had to buy from special ‘curvy women’ sites. This year, my 50th, i’ve lost a stone and a half, weight loss has destroyed my boobs, i have two low-slung, semi -empty sacs attached to my chest. I have to wear a bra otherwise the nipples would be peaking out of the bottom of m t-shirts!!!. Gravity, age, weightloss, breastfeeding have destroyed my once magnificent cleavage #blogcrush
Your cry is totally relatable. Mine are back to the ‘bee stings’ that they were before. xx
Nafisah NK recently posted…More texts- Still on Samir
Before I start, I’m not yet a mum.
I agree with you that breastfeeding is such an amazing thing and I think, although it’s hard to reverse, the changes to you body are worth it for how much good it does!
Stelle Xx
Stelle recently posted…London June 2018 Photo diary
I’ve always had big boobs, but they definitely shrunk once I stopped breastfeeding. And then none of my clothes fitted anymore and I had to stuff my bra for the first time in my life! But now they’re back. I’m not sure when it happened, but eventually they got back to where they used to be, so you might get yours back too 🙂
But yes – you are completely woman and the ability to breastfeed proves you are woman more than any cup size on a bra. #blogcrush
Lucy At Home recently posted…70 Birthday Quiz Questions – Family-Friendly Party Fun
O I can completely relate to this! And I’ve spoken to so many friends about it and they;ve all said the same thing too;(
I’ve always had tiny boobs, in fact when I breastfed I was delighted with my newfound cleavage, even though it hurt. Now after feeding four they’ve returned to their previous pathetic size. Boob envy is something I’ve had to deal with 😀 but I would rather have smaller than bigger ones and I’m just delighted that I was able to breastfeed all my kids and my hubby has never complained about them so they serve their purpose!! #blogcrush
My kinder asks when I think I will get boobs… Oy! My Mrs., she has no such issues, and she breast fed them both! Oh well! Luckily, It’s the least thing I care about… with my back and neck, kind of grateful I am a bit lacking in this department! xoxo #Blogcrush
I’ve recently recovering from 6 weeks of illness I found I had lost my boobs completely. I know when I pile the pounds back on the weight will go to my boobs but it still bothers me!
Nazrin recently posted…Comptoir Libanais – Lebanese Food: Birmingham
Hi,
I agree with you that breastfeeding is such an amazing thing and I think, although it’s hard to reverse.Our bodies are never the same after pregnancy and breast feeding but when you think of what we have achieved with our body I think we are doing pretty good! Thanks for your insightful article.
Kelly Garrett recently posted…7 Best Back Scrubbers