When someone else shares your pregnancy secret.

When someone else shares your pregnancy secret.

At one point or another, we have all had a secret we have kept from everyone else. A little bit of information we have held on to tightly and guarded as if it were gold. If and when we decide to disclose this precious truth, great thought is given to who can be trusted with it. View Post

The big reveal

The big reveal

I have some exciting news.

I have thought long and hard about how to tell you all my big secret. I considered posting some kind of cryptic image of an oven or something on my InstaGram account, or perhaps I could have vlogged about it. In the end though, I decided to just keep things simple. After all, I have been desperate to tell you all so I may as well just get straight to the point..
I’m having a baby!
Today I am exactly 12 weeks pregnant and yesterday we got our first little glimpse of baby number 2 when we went for our dating scan. Up until the point I saw that grainy image of my tiny baby just chilling in my belly with his/her legs up in the air, I hadn’t let myself believe this is actually happening. But now I have photographic evidence, proof that I am indeed having another baby and Leo is going to be someone’s big brother. I am so happy and now, after a couple months of uncertainty, I am feeling completely besotted with baby number 2 and I can start to get properly excited.
I found out I was pregnant when I was about 5 weeks gone, I waited until my monthly visitor was over a week late as I wanted to be completely sure before I took the test. It was only late November when I had my contraceptive implant removed so I was really shocked to get a positive test after only 2 months of trying! 
For the past 12 weeks I have felt so unbelievably tired, being pregnant with a toddler to run around after is exhausting! Luckily I haven’t been sick or anything, just feeling a bit queasy sometimes and needing to eat the second I wake up other wise I feel like I might pass out. There have been no weird food cravings yet, although there have been a few foods I have gone off and the smell of cooking meat really does make me want to spew. We cooked a beef joint in the slow cooker the other week and it was 8 hours of pure torture, I couldn’t stay in the kitchen for more than 2 minutes without feeling the need to run away to the bathroom.
Me and my babies.
Blogging has been hard too. Every time I start a new post all I have been wanting to write is I’M PREGNANT!! Instead though I have been writing about anything and everything else, if has felt strange not being able to write about the one thing that has constantly been on my mind. I have seen so many other blogger’s announce their pregnancy news over the past couple months and have felt a bit gutted that I have had to keep my news quiet, up until now that is. 
So, baby number 2 is due on October 21st but if he/she takes after their big brother they will probably arrive somewhere closer to Halloween. Leo will be 3 and a couple of months and I am really happy with that age gap, hopefully he will be able to understand more of what’s going on and won’t get too jealous of the new addition, only time will tell but I can hope right?
As for pregnancy updates, I will be uploading weekly vlogs over on my YouTube channel, so if you want to see how bump and I are getting on as the weeks progress then that is the place to go. I will be writing updates on here around the times of my midwife checks/scans, so my first official pregnancy update on here will be when I am 16 weeks.
Here is my belly the day after I found out there was a little baby growing in there..
Please ignore the pjs and the horrendously messy bedroom.

And here is my belly now, if my bump keeps growing at this rate I am going to struggle to fit through doors by the time I’m 6 months. Baby is measuring just over 5cm so no idea why I look this big already.

It feels so good to finally let the cat out of the bag! I look forward to blogging my way through this pregnancy and I would love for you all to come along for the ride too. 
Have you recently announced your pregnancy news too? Anyone else expecting baby number 2 and feeling way more exhausted than they did first time around? I would love to know how you revealed your secret and how you have found the first trimester.
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My Random Musings

Telling your boss you’re pregnant

I don’t know about you but when I was pregnant I worried about every little thing. Should I be eating this? Am I exercising enough? Have I bought enough baby grows? Early on in my pregnancy, besides the health of my growing baby, the thing I worried about the most was telling my boss the good news. I was new to my job and was nervous about telling my new boss I was pregnant as I was yet to feel like a fully established member of staff, I was very much still the new girl.

My 12 week scan was rapidly approaching and I knew it would soon be time to tell my employer about the pregnancy, I wasn’t going to be able to hide it forever. The day after my scan I decided to tell her, I convinced myself I was stressing over nothing. Yes I was new but I was doing well in my work and we seemed to have a good relationship, surely I had nothing to worry about.

Unfortunately, I was right to be so concerned.

I was not greeted with congratulations and well wishes, instead I was told it was very likely my employment would be terminated as my boss wanted someone who was fully committed to the business, I had every intention of working up until the very last few weeks of pregnancy and planned to only take 6 months maternity leave, it was my first job after university and I was eager to make it work. I was never able to prove what the business meant to me, the following week I was told the job was no longer mine.

3 moths pregnant and unemployed. Not exactly the ideal situation.

Friends and family told me it wasn’t fair – ‘she can’t do that?’ , ‘is that even legal?’. As it turns out, no it is not legal. My not so lovely boss had breached discrimination laws set out in the Equality and Employment rights acts. A quick phone call with citizen advice bureau revealed what happened to me was not just illegal but I also had a strong case for compensation.

This is not what I wanted when I first found out I was expecting. I wanted my boss to be OK with it and to have my job waiting for me when I came back from maternity leave. I did not want to be dealing with a solicitor and a messy compensation case up until the time I was 8 months pregnant. I did not want to have to read my now ex employers defence statement, full of lies, painting me as an incompetent employee, when in fact I worked hard every single day.

We don’t always get what we want though, do we?

After everything, I only came away with £4000 in compensation. Just over 4 months worth of wages. 4 months I could have still been working for her, by that point I would have been 7 months pregnant and still very capable of sitting at a computer answering emails and making phone calls. This £4000 by no stretch of the imagination covered my loss of earnings, let alone my loss of maternity pay. This was a settlement reached out of court, a trial could have resulted in a much higher payment but could have also resulted in nothing. It all would have depended on how the judge was feeling on the day. 8 months pregnant, extremely hormonal and stressed, I decided to settle out of court. I could not stand to listen to my boss tell the judge her web of lies, so for my health and my baby’s, we took her offer.

Now I am not saying this is going to happen to you or you should try and claim compensation if it does. That decision is up to you. All I am saying is know your rights before you tell your boss about your pregnancy. It is better to be informed, just in case.

As a pregnant employee you have 4 main rights –

1. The right to paid time off for antenatal care
2. The right to not be treated differently/discriminated against due to your pregnancy
3. The right to maternity leave
4. The right to maternity pay/maternity allowance

If your employer denies you of any of these things then they are breaking the law. Also, you do not have to tell your employer you’re pregnant as early as I did. If you have a physical job that may put you or your baby’s health at risk you may wish to share the news early on, otherwise you can wait until you are 25 weeks before you tell your employer. How I wish I had waited that long. If I wasn’t such an honest idiot and just invested in some baggy tops, I could have worked an extra 13 weeks. But I didn’t and there is no point looking back now.

Anyway, there is no way I would have swapped spending these 2 years I have had off with Leo for more time working for an employer who ultimately, wasn’t that nice or caring anyway.

If you want to find out more about your rights as a pregnant employee, .gov website and citizens advice have lots of useful information.

How did your boss react when you told them you were pregnant? Did you have a similar experience to me? If you are pregnant now and are looking to tell your boss soon, good luck and don’t worry, luckily my story is quite an uncommon one.

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