Just one of those days

Just one of those days

Yesterday was just one of those days. You know the kind, where everything just seems to go wrong and you feel like things just keep going from bad to worse to epically shit. The day itself started off fine, we weren’t late for school, Alex and I had a nice time at toddler group and my nan took us out for lunch in town. As far as Wednesdays go, yesterday started off pretty nicely. It was once I picked Leo up from school that things started to go very very wrong. View Post

Motherhood, am I doing it all wrong?

Motherhood, am I doing it all wrong?

Being a parent is the hardest job ever. Fact. It is a role we are thrown into with zero experience, straight into the deep end and expected to just get on with it. There are lots of books on parenting available but with so much conflicting advice and with every child being completely different, it can be so hard to know what to do for the best. As a mum I am always questioning what I do and if I am raising Leo to the best of my ability, most of the time I think I’m doing ok but things like mum guilt and other peoples opinions can cause serious blows to my confidence. Some days all I can think is that I am doing it all wrong, did I miss the memo on how to be the perfect mum? Some days I feel like everyone else is smoothly sailing through their parenting journey while I frantically try and keep my head above the water. View Post

Is it the terrible twos or is he just naughty?

Is it the terrible twos or is he just naughty?

Any parent out there will know what the terrible twos are, right? Oh you know, it’s that phrase used to describe the idea that when your child wakes up on their 2nd birthday they suddenly become a complete nightmare and will throw tantrums and act like a demon until they turn three and suddenly they become little darlings again. Many parents will agree with me when I say this, what a load of crap! The terrible twos can start way before your child hits 24 months and can, unfortunately, last way longer than just a year. I have written about my experiences of tantrums before and how I really struggle to cope when Leo’s being naughty. Leo is approaching 3 and his bad behaviour shows no sign of slipping away, if anything, it’s getting worse. I am starting to wonder if his behaviour is not just a result of the dreaded terrible twos, what if it is something more? What if my boy is just, well, naughty? View Post

I can’t cope with the tantrums

The terrible twos, it is something us parents dread, right? We see kids screaming on the floor, parents carrying them out of shops kicking and screaming and we pray one day that won’t be us. It is inevitable though, one day your baby will turn into a screaming, stomping, patience testing toddler and there’s not a lot you can do to stop it.

Leo has been having tantrums since he was about 16months old. At the beginning they were easily managed and only proved to be a mere inconvenience but, since he turned two, the tantrums have progressed to a whole different, horrendous, demon-like level.  I know other children have tantrums because I witness them several times a week when we go to toddler groups or when we are out and about. No toddler seems to have the art of the tantrum down quite as well as Leo though. He is the master of the tantrum; if there were such a thing, I would bet everything I own on him coming first in the worst tantrum ever competition. 
I love Leo more than anything in the whole world but, my god, that boy tests me and pushes me to the edge more than anyone has before, and probably anyone ever will. He can be the most adorable, loving little boy, showering me with kisses and cuddles, playing silly games and cuddling up for stories. However, when he doesn’t get his own way, is frustrated or angry then things can change pretty damn quickly. I know tantrums are a part of his development, he is pushing the boundaries to see what he can get away with and craving his independence but sometimes, even though I know this, I just don’t know how to cope. 
You see, Leo bites. When he is angry or isn’t getting his own way, he bites himself on the hand. It is never enough to make himself bleed, but enough to leave little teeth marks. Every time he does this I want to cry, I feel like it is my fault. I can’t stand seeing him hurting himself, I know he is doing it for attention or so I will give him his own way, but it still worries me. Biting is clearly his way of processing his frustration and anger but I am still unsure if this is normal toddler behaviour or not? I don’t know how to stop it or even if I should try to. Perhaps he will just grow out of it? Maybe by pleading with him not to bite himself I am simply just adding to the problem? 
At toddler group yesterday, just before we left Leo went into full meltdown mode and instead of biting himself, he bit me. I was so shocked and angry, it really hurt. His little teeth clamped down on my arm and there was so no way he was letting go. I had to pull my arm out of his tight, angry jaw and carry him kicking and screaming out to the car. As I was trying to wrestle him into his car seat, amongst the angry screams he lunged forward and went to bite my shoulder. What am I supposed to do when he behaves like this? I shout at him but it makes no difference: he cries, I feel guilty, he apologises but then does it again a few minutes later.
Oww!
Leo has tantrums at home but they are fairly infrequent, he always saves the really bad ones for when we are out and I have no one there to help me. His behaviour is making me want to stay in more often than I should, safe in the knowledge that if he has a tantrum at least I can put him in his room for a few minutes to calm down. I am still trying to get to know people here in Hampshire but it is so hard when I am always having to diffuse an argument Leo is having with another toddler over a toy or comforting Leo when he crying about, well I am not always sure what he is crying about. I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed at the minute, I just don’t know what to do for the best. I say ‘no’, Leo gets mad. I try to calm him down, he gets frustrated and bites himself. I simply have no clue how to deal with this behaviour and, to be honest, I am fed up with being kicked, hit and, now the new addition, bitten. 
I know he is going to have tantrums, it is part of him growing up. What I don’t know is how you are supposed to discipline a child who doesn’t listen to a word you say.
This parenting thing is hard. The good times definitely out weigh the bad but when they are bad, they are really friggin bad.
Does your toddler have really bad tantrums? Do they bite themselves when they are mad? I would be really grateful of any advice you might have.
Mummuddlingthrough
A Cornish Mum

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

Where did my happy boy go?

I usually do all my blogging when Leo is asleep but I feel like I can not wait until sometime this afternoon to write this post. While Leo is at last happily playing with his toys, I need to take the next 5 minutes to vent and ask all you lovely mums and dads out there for some advice.

This morning I took Leo to a new baby group in a bid for us to have some fun and hopefully get to know some new people. I am still struggling to connect with anyone down here, I am missing my friends in Swansea and I really just wanted us to get out the house and try and make our faces a bit more known in our local community.

Leo had other ideas.

The group lasted about 45 minutes and for only about 5 minutes of it was he happy. He didn’t want to join in with any of the singing or dancing and had a massive tantrum when he wasn’t allowed to play with the bubble machine. Every other child in there was enjoying themselves, their mums gleefully clapping along with looks of pride on their faces. I, on the other hand, was a woman on the edge. Why is he so grumpy all the time? I try and take him to nice groups, soft play or do crafts with him and it always ends in tears. Half the time it starts with tears too.

When Leo was younger everyone used to say how lucky I was to have such a happy boy and I don’t think I appreciated that time enough. Now, every single day is a struggle, a mission to keep Leo happy and avoid his almighty tantrums. The things that used to make him laugh now rarely receive a half hearted smile. When we go out to groups he is more interested in trying to find an escape route and I am living in a dream world if I think he actually enjoys play dates.

I just don’t know what to do. He doesn’t act like this with other people so I feel like no one understands. Oli is at work all day and when he sees other family he is always good, like he saves all his bad behaviour just for me.

I try to tell him off if he’s been naughty and he just doesn’t listen and before I know it I am comforting him, I just hate him crying. Most of the time though his tantrums are so bad there really is nothing I can do. He doesn’t let me pick him up, he screams in to the floor and, most worryingly, tries to bite himself.

I just want my happy boy back, Obviously, there are good days but at the minute these are hard to come by, When we have one of those mythical ‘tantrum free days’, I feel like super mum and I just wish I could feel like that every day.

I don’t know what to do. Stay in the house every day with Thomas the Tank on repeat, maybe? Become a hermit with no friends and let Leo have free roam of the house to do as he pleases? I just want my boy to be happy, I feel like turning two has turned him into a completely different person.

Where did my happy boy go?

Anyone else really struggling with the terrible twos? If anyone could recommend some good blogs/books that offer great advice and coping strategies then please share in the comments. Have you got any advice, any magic tricks that help make a grumpy toddler smile?

What parents think during a tantrum

Over the last couple weeks Leo has started to throw the worst tantrums ever, think I may have mentioned it here once or twice!

Whoever coined the term ‘terrible 2’s’ is a massive liar liar pants on fire! Leo’s attitude started to surface around 16 months and the tantrums are just getting worse.

During these moments, whenever/wherever they happen, amongst the frustration and embarrassment I find the same thoughts whizzing through my frazzled brain.

So here it is, the thought process of a parent during a dreaded temper tantrum….

• Aww my poor baby, why is he crying?

• I have told him already he’s not allowed that.

• Why does he think lying on the floor will make me change my mind?

• Maybe if I pick him up he’ll stop crying?

• Ooops, that made everything 10 times worse.

• I wonder if he remembers why he’s crying?

• God he actually sounds like someone’s murdering him!

• Please stop crying baby.

• If that old woman looks over again I am going to lose it.

• Are you trying to make me look like a bad mother?

• No ‘helpful stranger’, I’m not being a ‘nasty mummy’.

• How long is it acceptable for him to stay crying on the floor?

• I’m never going to the shop alone again.

• Surely he can’t keep this up much longer?

•  Please, please stop crying baby.

• That’s it, I’m just going to have to hold him under my arm kicking and screaming and hope we both make it out alive.

• Great he’s got tears and snot all over his face now, that’s another tantrum waiting to happen when I try and clean him up.

• Ha I actually think I want another one of these devils one day..what’s wrong with me?

• Does he want me to start crying too?

• Oh he’s randomly stopped crying, he definitely deserves a kiss and big cuddle now.

• Phew, thank god that’s over!

• I love my baby so much.

• I deserve a drink tonight after that.

• I am supermum!

Anyone else think like this when their toddler decides to kick off?

After yesterday’s performance in Co-Op, it’s safe to say that I am now terrified of shopping with Leo…Tesco home delivery anyone?!

7 things only toddlers can get away with

All parents will agree, there is no creature more adorable on this earth than your own child.
However, it’s not all sleepy cuddles and gorgeous smiles, toddlers can be pretty gross as well..not to mention incredibly badly behaved.
Toddlers are capable of getting away with all sorts, however do these as an adult and I expect you will get a few funny looks!
7 things only toddlers can get away with….

1. Wiping snot on you – as a parent you automatically become a human hankerchief. You just got to love those slimey snot snails on your jeans. God help me if Leo develops hayfever this summer.
2. Force feeding you half eaten food – I’m all for sharing but I really don’t fancy eating your half chewed toast, thank you very much.
3. Throwing a tantrum in public – Oh sure, we have all felt like screaming the supermarket down for one reason or another but as an adult we are not permitted that luxury. However, as a toddler you are more than within your rights to scream in the trolley or jump up and down in a rage over..well..nothing!
4. Play with their own poo – if you saw an adult do this you would probably run in the other direction. Toddlers, however, attempt to make regular contact with their own faeces. Leo’s hands have to be kept occupied during changes otherwise they are straight down there searching for poo..so gross!
5. Farting on you – not as disgusting as number 4 but still pretty gross. If my husband did this I would not speak to him for a week!
6. Poking/prodding strangers – Leo loves everyone and he is not a shy boy. If we are stood by someone in touching distance then they should expect a friendly, but possibly unwelcome, prod from Leo. Unlike Leo, I doubt I would be greeted with smiles if I went around man handling strangers.
7. Smearing food over their face – yes it makes for a funny photo but the clean up operation that follows is not so fun. When I am done eating I just put my cutlery down, Leo rubs the last of his food all over his face, hair, ears..everywhere!
What gross/naughty things does your child do?
They may be hard work and icky at times but we love them all the same.
Mums' Days

You know you have a toddler when…

You know you have a toddler when…

Over the past few months I have watched Leo change from a baby into a little boy right in front of my very eyes. It is amazing to watch him learn and grow, I can’t believe he’s 19months old already!

Like most children his age he is very mischievous, cheeky and some of the things he does just completely baffle me. I have compiled a list of 5 tell tale signs you are living with a toddler. View Post