This year for Christmas I have bought Leo lots of books to fill up his stocking. Amongst these books is the best selling Christmas counting book, Father Christmas needs a Wee.
I had not planned to give this book to Leo until Christmas day but yesterday we were having a particularly stressful lunchtime and the book was used as a bargaining tool to get Leo into his high chair. Not perfect parenting I know but some times you got to do what you go to do to have a peaceful lunchtime.
Did I get to eat my food in peace?
Of course not. After reading the book once, and foolishly thinking this would be satisfactory for a 2 year old, I was then ordered to read the book repeatedly for the next hour and then again in random intervals throughout the rest of the day.
Leo loves Father Christmas Needs a Wee and it is a great counting book but, oh my, I was so fed up of reading it by the end of the day. I am now considering hiding it until Christmas Day, as was the original plan.
It was probably when I was reading this book for about the 20th time, I was inspired to write my own version. I hope you enjoy…
Fed up Mummy needs some wine.
Fed up Mummy needs some wine,
She has been reading the same book since lunch time.
During read one,
one happy son, this book is fun.
During read two,
two shouts of ‘Santa needs a poo?’
During read three,
we’ll stop after three, wishes Mum foolishly.
During read four
four giggles from the toddler, who clearly wants more.
During read five,
five hours until Daddy’s home, will Mum survive?
During read six,
falling asleep, eyes in need of matchsticks.
During read seven,
a realisation that it is nearly bedtime, half seven. It will soon be wine time – heaven!
During read eight,
eight wishes for the toddler to get bored, Mummy’s got a long wait.
During read nine,
Mummy feels like she wrote it, knows every line.
During read ten,
ten seconds of silence before the dreaded ‘again, again again!’.
So I am sure you will agree that is completely fine,
for fed up Mummy to drink lots of some wine.
What do you think? Do you ever feel like this when your toddler makes you read the same book over and over for hours? I could definitely have drank a whole bottle yesterday, I was so fed up of Father Christmas needs a friggin’ wee!
Yes! I hid it eventually. And, even thought the Toddler is now 12 years old and the book is long gone, I can recite it by heart. Drink the wine! You earned it!
I feel like it will be permanently in my brain for the rest of my life. When Leo can read I am going to get my revenge, somehow. Glad I am not the only Mum who hides books!xx
Oh yes, the dreaded "Again! Again! Again!" I know it all too well. Love your poem 🙂 #abitofeverything
Ha! This is great! And I bribe my children all day long, so nothing wrong with a bit of bribery to get into the high chair!! My youngest gets out every childrens book we own, every single morning, and demands I read them all multiple times! And my eldest asks for Room on The Broom EVERY night before bed… Aaaaaargh! My wine intake it outrageous…!
#abitofeverything
Love this version – very true! I get so fed up of reading the same stories over and over again too.
Oh I so know how you feel. Isn't it tedious! And when they want the same nursery over and over again too. I get "more Twinkle twinkle'. Yes you definately deserve some wine. I hope it helps to block out your pain 😉
#coolmumclub
Love it! I'm like this over The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom. I can recite both now without the book which is handy in an emergency (like if I can't bare to look at the flippin book any more and want to read it with my eyes shut thinking about wine… ) Brilliant. Sending wine! Dawn x #coolmumclub
Hahah yes! I actually clicked on your post just because it had the word 'wine' in it! I could use A LOT of wine right now, currently 40 weeks and 2 days preggo, BAH. Hopefully you had a glass after you finished reading??! If not, have one right now, you deserve it. : )
I kind of loved the fact that our daughter could recite 'Superworm' at 18 months ha ha, but definitely been some books that 'accidentally' slipped down the side of the bed!! We have this book too, Tigs will probably love it this year as she's at that 'toilet humour' stage!! Thanks for linking up with your, vastly improved version 🙂 x #coolmumclub
Brilliant I love Mummy's version lol. Thank for sharing this morning made my laugh so much…❤️ #picknmix
This is absolutely brilliant! Loved it! I could feel your wine need escalate with very new line! Quick, get some illustrations and put this into a book!!
lol this is brilliant! Our elf, Jingle Bells brought the kids that book this year & they love it! Luckily they didn't ask for it to be re-read loads of times or I'd need wine too. #anythinggoes x
Great little rhyme, I really wanted to keep reading to find out what happened next! Wonderful that your toddler is so into books though, and you obviously picked a winner for his Christmas surprise (although, not a surprise anymore!) I hope you really did get a big glass of wine after bedtime 🙂
The worst word ever with a toddler is 'again!' 😉 My boys were both the same when they were smaller and I always regretted buying the new book 😉
Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
Amazing! I did want to get this book, but am having second thoughts now!