Do you have a happy place? You know, a place you go to in your mind when you just can’t handle another second of the real world and you need to escape. It might be an abandoned beach, with just you on a deckchair with your favourite book for company. Perhaps it is a room full of your best girlfriends, you are all talking about anything and everything, laughing and drinking wine. A beautiful waterfall, a serene lake, the top of a snowy mountain watching snowflakes drift peacefully to the ground. Wherever your imagined happy place may be, when you need a minute to yourself, take yourself away from the stressful situation, close your eyes and go there. That’s what I do.
Mums, have you found your happy place?
When Leo is throwing one of his epic tantrums or Alex is screaming in my ear, I just find a way to take a minute and go to my happy place. My happy place is the beach, a long stretch of white sand next to that turquoise clear ocean you always see in holiday adverts. I’m alone, paddling in the sea, there is a cool breeze and the waves are crashing softly over my bare feet, there are no other sounds. Going to your happy place in your head is a really effective way of taking a moment to calm down, breathe and reduce your stress levels but you need a physical happy place too, you can only venture so far within your own mind. My physical happy place is also the beach, it’s not the stunning tropical one I visit in my mind but the beautiful beaches of the Gower in South Wales. When life has been difficult, when my days feel like they are just too busy and too chaotic, a day at the beach always helps to get me back into a better frame of mind. An hour walking in the shallows or a whole afternoon sunbathing on the sand or even a day having a seaside adventure with my boys, it all helps to get me back into a more positive mindset and calmly reflect on everything that has been stressing me out.
Your physical happy place could be a glass of wine on the sofa at the end of the day, an hour in the gym before the kids get up or a bath with scented candles and a fruity smelling bath bomb. Wherever your happy place is, make sure you take some time to go there and to go there often. As a Mum it can be all too easy to put your needs last, to prioritise everyone else and leave no time to look after yourself too. When everything is going wrong and you need some strength to see you through, go to your imagined happy place and draw some positive energy from it.
It is also important to make time to go to your real happy place to rejuvenate and boost your mood as much as possible. Doing things for yourself once you are a mum is nothing to feel guilty about, you’re not being selfish and your kids won’t be mad at you for doing so. If you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and like you don’t matter anymore, take some time to yourself in your happy place, remind yourself that you are important, you deserve to be happy. I’m not saying a walk on the beach or an hour with your favourite book is going to solve all your problems but if you just let go of the guilt and do something for you then you will definitely feel better, even if it’s just a little.
Where is your happy place? Do you find taking time for yourself helps make you feel better if you’re having a hard time with the kids? Do you ever go to your happy place in your head? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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Ah I love this! I don’t actually have a mental happy place, but I love the idea…maybe I’ll create one. I know what you mean about doing something for yourself once in a while. Last week I actually painted my nails(!) And this week I went to the cinema with a friend! I rarely go out so it was so nice and such a treat. Us mums definitely need to have some regular relaxation and time out; I think it recharges us x x
This is so true. It’s far too easy to lose yourself when you become a mum x
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Thank you for the awesome post, I think I have found my happy place and time. I figured that early mornings for me mean an accomplished day, this is the time I am able to do a lot with a fresh and clear mind. I also enjoy reading academic books. xx
Nafisah NK recently posted…Sapphire- how hilarious can one get?
This is such a simple way to find some space for yourself – thank you for this post, it’s something I think I need to make more time for. I never thought about my happy place before but it came up when we were talking about visualisation in our birth preparation classes and I found it really helpful. Mine is a spot we found in Tuscany – I can picture myself there, with the rolling hills and vineyards in the background, and the sun setting, and I feel so much calmer and happy. I’m going to try and do this more in my daily life – I’m struggling with my temper at the moment!
Every mum needs a happy place! Mine is definitely on the yoga mat. I also love to meditate too – I sound like a hippy haha!
What a beautiful happy place to go too. Sometimes I like to sit in the garden in the peace and quite, it is lovely just have a bit of time to yourself 🙂
I think my happy place is right there listening to the waves crashing with you wendy…your beach photos of late have been so beaut!
Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub
This is such a great idea. Its not something I have really thought about before but something I am going to be doing in the future. I agree its not selfish at all and I find it I take five minutes to myself I am a lot nicer person to be around! xx
I agree with this. Sometimes I just need to take a walk, or a nap, and I feel much better equipped to be the best mum I can be.
That’s such a great idea to have a real and virtual happy place. I’ve never stopped to think about it. I don’t have a virtual one and probably need one. My real happy place is an airplane going on our next adventure as a family.
Love the idea of a happy place to go to. #coolmumclub
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Is it bad that my happy place is a bar with a G&T in my hand? I try to go there as often as possible… seriously though, love this post. Every parent needs some escapism.