Dear social life,
Where did you go? I miss you. I’ve been searching for you for the last few years and I can’t find you anywhere. Where are you hiding?
We used to get on so well, I don’t know what I did for you to leave me in the lurch like this? Remember all those times when I was a teenager? Me and you were thriving then, you got me out of the house most days, filled my life with friends and fun. Do you remember all the nights out you were responsible for? All the hours spent dancing and laughing and all the headaches and head in the toilet moments that followed the next day? I miss those days, although I will admit I don’t miss the hangovers.
Perhaps our relationship peaked too soon? After the one big party that was my mid to late teens, you stuck around like a loyal dog through the uni years. You welcomed new people in, housemates, course friends and random people we met in freshers week. Then slowly but surely you started to slip away and all those people drifted away with you.
It’s not just the nights out I miss Social Life, I miss everything else you represent: friends, fun, a life. Spontaneous lunches with the girls, shopping days and trips to the beach, hours sat on sofas drinking tea and chatting, text conversations that go on for days – I miss it all.
Was it my fault you left? By getting pregnant at 21, did I ruin the happy relationship we spent years building? Just when we should have been at our best, my early 20’s, you upped and left when I needed you the most. I know me living away from the friends we both loved didn’t help and spending so long cooped up in the house with a newborn baby didn’t do us any favours either. You could have stuck around though, waited out those months with me until I felt adjusted to my new role as Mummy and ready to take on the world. I love being a Mum and would never swap what I have now to have you back, I just wish I could have you as well – surely I am not asking the impossible?
Now you have gone, somehow the odd message on Facebook with friends every month or so seems to suffice. When the opportunity of a night out arises, excitement is often replaced with nerves as I am not sure I know what to do now we have been apart for so long. Where once you made sure I spoke to friends every day, now I can go months without hearing from anyone and some how I have convinced myself that this is normal. There is only so long I can go on eating virtual cake and drinking virtual wine with my online pals, I need real life friends too. No one can be happy just chatting on Twitter for the rest of their life, surely?
I have a 2 year old, I should be organising several play dates a week or out on trips to the coffee shop with other Mummies. Since you fizzled away I just don’t know what to do, I want these things but I feel so out of practice. After spending so much time alone with just my toddler, I am unsure what I would talk to another adult about. I know you miss our old friends Social Life, I miss them too. I need you to come back though, together we can meet new people and you never know, we could be stronger than ever.
Living in a strange town, miles away from familiar faces and with another baby on the way, I need you more than ever. I don’t know how I will get through the days with two children if I don’t have you by my side, making me get out the house during the early days and helping me to forge new friendships.
I refuse to believe you have gone forever Social Life, I am only 25. My days should be filled with the company of others, I should not constantly be the lonely mum in the park or the one sat on her own at baby group while the little one plays. It doesn’t feel right that the highlight of my social calendar is when the parents or in laws are coming to stay for a weekend. I love them loads of course, I just need friends in my life too.
Please don’t become just a memory, something for me to reminisce about in the long waits to hear back from old friends. We had it good once and we can be that way again, maybe even better, I just need you to come back so we can find out. I promise I will try all I can to persuade you to return, I will come out of my shell more and talk to new people even though this terrifies my inner shy girl. I will make more of an effort to keep in touch with the friends we had so many good times with, if I can, I will make them a regular fixture in our lives again.
Please come back Social Life. I’m in my mid twenties, I’m not dead, I don’t want to live any more of my days without you.
Missing you always,
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