The thing all parents talk about..

We love a chat us Mums, don’t we? We talk about everything going on with our kids and we love to reassure and support each other through all our parenting woes. However, there is one thing all parents love to talk about, Mums and Dads alike. This particular topic of conversation is most frequently heard amongst parents with very young children. Saying that, my boy is two and I still find myself chatting about this on a very regular basis…

As soon as your pregnancy news starts to spread, family members, friends and even strangers on the street all have the same little nugget of information to tell you. Most of them can’t wait to share it, the words are out of their mouths immediately after you say ‘We’re having a baby!’. You don’t believe them of course, you smile and thank them for their unwanted advice but you know it can’t possibly be true, they must be exaggerating or something.
Yet, 9 months later, your bundle of joy arrives and you start to wonder if all those people might have been right. Maybe you had been naive to think you and your partner could make it through parenthood without encountering this one little thing everyone warned you about? 
You were told it would stop once your baby was here, that you and your husband would never enjoy it like you did before. They told you things in that department would not be the same again for years, if ever, once you were parents.
As it turns out, they were all right. Every friend, our parents, that long lost aunt, the random drunk in the pub, well, they weren’t lying. It is not the same.
In the early, hardcore new born days of parenting, we tried not to talk about it. We tried not to miss it. My husband and I were both desperate for it but we pushed our own needs aside. We were parents now, it was our job to look after our baby, what we wanted was irrelevant. 
As the months went on, the thing we were missing began to creep back in to our lives. We welcomed it with open arms, we were grumpy and irritable without it. The first night it happened we were shocked, caught off guard. After all those months without, we couldn’t believe how suddenly and unannounced it had returned. 
Although our bed was beginning to see some proper action again, some nights we just couldn’t wait until we got under the covers. Sometimes, we had to have it right there and then on the sofa. Sometimes it went on for over an hour. After it happened we would lie there feeling satisfied, give each other a grin and one of us would suggest heading up to bed for round two.
As our baby grew in to a toddler things were starting to get back to normal. Maybe we were too quick to agree with what everyone said, things were pretty much back to how they were in our pre-parent life. We had it pretty much every single night. If we were lucky, we got it on a lazy Saturday morning as well.  Sometimes I would even buy something nice to wear, just in case, to make it just that little bit more enjoyable. I would get excited putting on my new purchase and getting in to bed, hoping my efforts would not be in vain and the night would bring me what I wanted. 
Just like how it came back in to our lives, it was just as quickly taken away. Just as we got used to getting what we wanted in the bedroom, our son would go through a major milestone or something and we would be back to square one. Gone were the nights where we could be together all night, undisturbed. Now, there are days on end where we don’t get it, when we don’t even consider it. We don’t ever go to bed expecting it any more.
When it does happen, we make sure we enjoy every second, for who know’s when it will happen again. The nights are unpredictable now. Two and half years into parenthood and still we have this problem. My husband and I are not the only ones though. I speak to other mums at toddler groups and they have all been through it too. They know what it is like to not get it, to desperately need and long for it. I know a few parents who have kids in school and they still don’t get it.
So, if you find yourself chatting with another parent any time soon, I give the conversation about 2 minutes before one of you mentions it. You will both be dying to talk about it, to unload all of your bedroom troubles on to someone else. There is nothing that parents love to talk about more than…

SLEEP!
How has your sleep changed since becoming a parent? Do you have an angel who sleeps all night or are you a sleep deprived, zombie like Mum? For the past couple of months Leo has randomly been waking in the night and I really need a good nights sleep, like, right now. I would love to know your thoughts on sleep deprivation and please feel free to share any tips on coping with a toddler who likes to party at 2am!
Mummuddlingthrough
A Cornish Mum
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
Mummascribbles
My Random Musings
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52 Comments

  1. January 14, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    We got The Sleeper. The Tubblet caught on pretty quickly that night time was nap time and there was nothing exciting happening that she was missing out on. I hesitate to post this as many will wonder what I did to deserve it (nothing) when they got the all night partier. Trust me, if I knew how we'd done it, I'd have written my best selling book and be sunning myself on a beach somewhere.

  2. January 14, 2016 / 1:35 pm

    Bahahahahaha! Amen sister. You really do think people are exaggerating but it's messed up what they do to you. #coolmumclub

  3. January 14, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    Hahaha love this! So true that just as quickly as it is given to you, it is taken away again. Though I did for a minute think I was perhaps missing out on something altogether more saucier! Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub chicky x

    Talya – http://www.motherhoodtherealdeal.com

  4. January 14, 2016 / 4:30 pm

    Hahaha! Yep, we're in the midst of it right now with a 2.5 year old who is adamant she's not tired (so goes to bed late), is randomly waking in the middle of the night (strange behaviour for her), and is waking early (and tired).
    Add to that a 5 month old and sleep is the one thing we really, really, REALLY want in this house! Zzzzzz.
    #coolmumclub

  5. January 14, 2016 / 4:48 pm

    Lol, this is brilliant and absolutely spot on! Feeling your pain with a toddler who likes to party at 2am – my preschooler was awake from 11pm until 3.30am last night. Thankfully these days that is a little more of an unusual occurrence so I just have to keep reminding myself that these phases do pass and in the meantime, thank goodness for caffeine! #coolmumclub

  6. January 14, 2016 / 7:40 pm

    You are so lucky! If you ever figure out the secret don't hang around sharing it with the rest of us will you? 🙂 xx

  7. January 14, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    I know! I just thought everyone was just being over dramatic but nope, they were deadly serious. Xx

  8. January 14, 2016 / 7:42 pm

    They may be a bit of a double meaning to this post, haha. Thanks for hosting xx

  9. January 14, 2016 / 7:43 pm

    Oh no, that sounds like hell. Why do toddlers randomly start waking in the night? Does anyone even know?! Hope you get some sleep soon xx

  10. January 14, 2016 / 7:44 pm

    Poor you! Yes, where would we be without caffeine? I know I'd be crying in a corner somewhere!xx

  11. January 14, 2016 / 9:38 pm

    Ha I knew you probably weren't talking about sex the more the post went on, but I didn't guess it was sleep. I wonder why so many children just don't sleep? It's probably more the norm than the opposite judging by the number of people I know who still have 11 year olds who don't sleep! My first one slept through at 3 months, my second 8 months and my third 10 months. (They are now 11, 9 and 6 respectively.) I honestly thought they were the longest months of my life but I now realise how lucky I am. Unless they're really ill, they have always slept through the night and I am that annoying mother who has full on lie-ins because they just go downstairs and make breakfast and play. I sincerely hope that happens for you too! Sleep deprivation sucks. #coolmumclub

  12. January 14, 2016 / 10:07 pm

    This is the king of double entendre posts!
    FYI I have been getting it very infrequently lately…and I'm in the mood right now so I'm off to slip into something a little more comfortable and get right down to it. I can see in the hubbys eyes he's thinking the exact same thing…night night! 😉 #coolmumclub

  13. January 14, 2016 / 10:46 pm

    I'd like to be doing it right now, but instead I'm up with my matchsticks holding my eyes open trying to blog! Love this post!

  14. January 15, 2016 / 11:59 am

    Ha! Nice bait and switch!

    We have been lucky so far but don't want to doom ourselves. There have been spells where it has all gone wrong and one of us either has to grump downstairs for more Paw Patrol marathons or stay in their room reading or ignoring till sleep falls. Doesn't help that when toddlers see sleeping things they feel compelled to wake them!

    #TheList

  15. January 15, 2016 / 1:52 pm

    Ha! For a few paragraphs there I thought you were actually talking about IT. You know, a cuppa in bed 🙂 We had just gotten into a great sleep routine with Tin Box Tot – there were even no arguments with bedtime. Then we had Tin Box Baby and the Tot started potty training. Now we're back to being up several times in the night. Roll on dry nights! #coolmumclub

  16. January 16, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    You are soo lucky. What I would do for a lie and for Leo to be able to just keep himself entertained in the morning. One day hopefully!xx

  17. January 16, 2016 / 9:32 pm

    Haha, hope it was as good as you were hoping 😉 xx

  18. January 16, 2016 / 9:33 pm

    Thank you!Hope you get it soon 🙂 xx

  19. January 16, 2016 / 9:35 pm

    Oh no, not paw patrol..poor you!It's always worse when you've had months of uninterrupted sleep and then they start waking in the night again xx

  20. January 16, 2016 / 9:37 pm

    Haha, well there may be some similarities between sleep and, you know, that. Oh no, hope Tin box tot gets potty trained soon and you get some decent sleep xx

  21. January 16, 2016 / 10:33 pm

    Very clever! I had to work at my first child sleeping but the rest were naturals, now it is me that doesn't sleep well and the kids do, I think it is part of getting older! #KCACOLS

  22. January 17, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    Haha, love this! We are much hated among our parent friends because Marianna has slept through since she was really young. My mum and the health visitors credit her time on the special care unit – apparently that's the answer, a strict routine headed by people distant enough not to be emotionally charmed into giving in… Lol. 🙂 #KCACOLS

  23. January 18, 2016 / 8:26 am

    Haha very funny! At first I thought you were some kind of rampageous weirdo. I have three year old twins who occasionally sleep through but ALWAYS wake up with the lark! Sigh.

  24. January 18, 2016 / 9:06 am

    Very clever. My youngest always went to bed ok but woke every day at 4-4.30 and that as it. My two are tweens now but we still don't get it!

  25. January 18, 2016 / 9:39 am

    This is fab! I got really complacent with sleep because SB was fab and slept through… sleep regressions always make us eat our words haha! #fartglitter

  26. January 18, 2016 / 10:07 am

    Haha. Great post. I started to get an inkling part way in that it was sleep! Very funny and very true! #KCACOLS

  27. January 18, 2016 / 3:30 pm

    Looking at the title, I thought for sure this was going to be a post about poop. lol

  28. January 18, 2016 / 3:49 pm

    Oh my gosh….!! Lol! That was so clever! My daughter had her days and nights mixed up when we brought her home from the hospital. I thought I'd never sleep again!! YES– it's such a common topic of conversation among parents. It's like we all belong to a sleep-deprived club that we didn't ask to be members of! 🙂 #AnythingGoes

  29. January 18, 2016 / 4:33 pm

    Hahaha hilarious but very painfully true. So far (touches wood like a man person) we have two sleepers. I know we are truly blessed. Probably a good job as if one of them dares to disturb my precious sleep now I'm like the walking dead the following day!? Sending cake xx
    #fartglitter

  30. January 18, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    A wonderful post. As a first time Mum to a six week old I have to admit I've really struggled with the sleep deprivation. But reading this has made me laugh and you really do have to laugh sometimes! Thank you for putting a smile on my face xx #KCACOLS

  31. January 19, 2016 / 9:41 am

    Haha!! I loved this — what a fab post! 🙂 And my boy and I have been very, very lucky with our twins. They caught on to the importance of sleep, very early on! Good job too — I'm practically narcoleptic 😉 #TwinklyTuesday

  32. January 19, 2016 / 10:17 am

    What a fab post – shows what our minds our really thinking haha! We were quite lucky with our daughter, she slept through from quite a young age but even with that sleep has never quite been the same and I doubt it will until our kids are teenagers. #TwinklyTuesday

  33. January 19, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    Haha! What is sleep?! We still don't get it. Love this post Thanks for linking to #PickNMix

  34. January 20, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    Ha love it! I am one of those rare people whose children have had lie ins since they were babies – they inherited my heavy sleeper genes luckily 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

  35. January 22, 2016 / 6:08 am

    Hahaha I was imagining something quite different there! Thanks for making me giggle! My toddler likes a lie-in in the mornings but often stays up pretty late (while I'm dozing off mid-sentence) and has gone from sleeping through as a baby to waking up at least once in the night or early hours, with the aim of getting into our bed! #KCACOLS

  36. January 23, 2016 / 5:43 pm

    Hehhe love this post. I thought you were talking about some "naughty" action but then realised you were talking about sleep!

    I have been soooo lucky with my boys (2 and 5) – they are both pretty good sleepers. I usually get a decent nights sleepy these days.

    Thanks so much for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday! X

  37. January 24, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    I say this very quietly…..my son sleeps very well….at least I think he does because I am so exhausted at the end of the day that I am dead to the world as soon as my head hits the pillow! However, I have also started snoring so my Hubby ends up in the spare bed some night. RESULT 🙂 #AnythingGoes

  38. January 24, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    Haha, very good! I must admit by about halfway through I was on to you, but love this post (and it's subtext…) 😉 x
    #AnythingGoes

  39. January 25, 2016 / 7:00 am

    This made me laugh 🙂 we have been lucky with Monkey he caught on pretty quick and we would get about 6 hours at 6 weeks – sorry!! However we still have the off night everynow and again when he struggles mainly with night terrors now at 3.5. Im pregnant with our second at the moment and I am really hoping we get lucky twice… (wishful thinking? xx) #FartGlitter

  40. January 25, 2016 / 3:22 pm

    Aww no, atleast your kids sleep through though hey?!xx

  41. January 25, 2016 / 3:24 pm

    Oh, that's the secret is it? You are lucky you don't have to suffer with the horrible effects of sleep deprivation. I envy you xx

  42. January 25, 2016 / 3:25 pm

    Haha, no I am not a rampageous weirdo. You clearly just have a dirty mind! Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind Leo waking in the night if it meant I got to sleep until about 11am, he is always up at the crack of dawn too though xx

  43. January 25, 2016 / 3:27 pm

    4am?! I just wouldn't be able to get through the day. Haha, maybe you will get it again when they move out? 🙂 xx

  44. January 25, 2016 / 3:27 pm

    It is always hardest when they have been sleeping well for a long time and then randomly start waking. Sleep regressions suck!!xx

  45. January 25, 2016 / 3:28 pm

    Ah well, I had you fooled for the first half though 🙂 xx

  46. January 25, 2016 / 3:29 pm

    That is definitely the second most talked about thing! Parent's do love to chat about poo, we're all gross really aren't we?! 🙂 x

  47. January 25, 2016 / 3:30 pm

    Yes I like that, the sleep deprived club! Aww, it is so hard at beginning isn't it? The lack of sleep is a real shock to the system xx

  48. January 25, 2016 / 3:32 pm

    You are very lucky. I am the same, a total zombie for the whole day if my sleep has been disturbed. Thanks for the cake, it is definitely needed xx

  49. January 25, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    Aww, thank you for your comment. I am glad I made you smile :).xx

  50. January 25, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    Haha, why..what were you thinking about?! 😛 xx

  51. January 25, 2016 / 3:34 pm

    Aww thanks Caro. You are very lucky, I can't imagine how hard it would be having to get up in the night to look after twins.xx

  52. January 25, 2016 / 3:36 pm

    I can't wait for the teenage years. I am going to be up at 5am shouting at Leo to get me my breakfast every morning! It is good your daughter sleeps well for you xx

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