What makes a parent perfect?

This morning I read an article on BBC news titled The ‘perfect’ parent. The purpose of this article, from my understanding, is to reassure parents that there is no perfect parent and it discusses different parenting styles from the worlds many cultures. The article also features a video from American comedy sketch group The BreakWomb. The sketch tells the tale of 3 mums at a ‘Mom’s support group’, admitting to lies they have told to their friends and family, in a hope to come across as the perfect parent.

I found reading about how parents do things in other cultures very interesting but it was the title of the article that really got me thinking. What is a perfect parent? Is perfect parenting an unrealistic goal for parents to have? Am I perfect? Do I care if other people don’t think I am perfect?

I have lots of questions but not many answers. I have no idea what a perfect parent is, the aforementioned article claims a love of broccoli and our children’s ability to recite Shakespeare are good examples of where Mums and Dads have done a top notch job. Frankly, I couldn’t care less if Leo is able to read A midsummer nights dream to me from memory when he is older. Yes, I would be extremely impressed but I can’t do that and, as it goes, I am a happy, round rounded adult who can think for herself; I don’t think my bad memory when it comes to the work of The Immortal Bard is a result of how my parents bought me up.

To me, my parents are perfect. Well, actually, they are perfectly imperfect and that is why I love them. I had a lovely childhood and I always knew they loved me, they still do of course. Yes, they made mistakes but I am glad they did. They taught me it is OK to get things wrong and how to deal with life when it doesn’t go to plan. My parents would both admit they are not perfect and I am glad they aren’t. I would much prefer to have the parents I’ve got than ones who stressed themselves out beyond recognition to try and achieve the, in my opinion, unattainable dream of perfection.

As for me? No, I am not perfect. How could I be? I am a first time Mum, it would be a miracle if I just knew everything and never made a mistake. I frequently suffer with mummy guilt, if I thought I was doing a perfect job these feelings would not exist. I do my best for Leo, some days I do better than others but I am always thinking of him and do what I can to make him happy. I love him unconditionally, as does his Dad, and it is very clear he loves us too. We are doing all we can to bring him up to be an independent, polite, respectful and happy child.

I never lie about my parenting to others. Yes, sometimes I might feel bad for not being able to get Leo to eat vegetables or for letting him spend hours in front of TV but I would rather talk about these things than pretend I am the type of mother people think I should be.

Will Leo think Oli and I have done a perfect job when he grows up? I don’t know. As long as he looks back on his childhood how I remember mine and is happy then I will be happy too. I don’t know what the perfect parent is, I really don’t think there is such thing. Parent’s bring their children up in all kinds of different ways. Yes, there are, unfortunately, people out there who don’t make good parents but the majority of us, well, I think we are doing just fine.

What do you think? Would you say there is such thing as a perfect parent? Or, do you think we all just need to give ourselves a break and just be happy that our children are happy? Let me know 🙂

p.s In case you are having a bad day, here is a funny video I found a few months ago from The BreakWomb..enjoy!

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15 Comments

  1. November 29, 2015 / 8:18 pm

    Great post will bookmark to watch video too late now with my poorly boy! There's such thing is there? I think we can perhaps see parents we feel are getting it done better than ourselves but they're still not perfect because I often have negative thoughts about their methods, too pushy for example. That must backfire for some children at some point? It sure did my dad!

  2. November 30, 2015 / 3:40 am

    I seriously don't think there are perfect parents or perfect parenting styles. Every child is different.
    I am with you – as long as our kids are happy and well adjusted, I think we have achieved some kind of perfection!

    #KCACOLS

  3. November 30, 2015 / 12:24 pm

    I was a perfect parent until the day I had my first son! Then I learned pretty quickly to lower my standards and get my priories right 🙂 #maternitymonday

  4. November 30, 2015 / 2:59 pm

    I am definitely not the perfect parent and my boys are 7 & 8 with another on the way. It's a learning curve at every stage they go through. I don't want to be perfect either, we all learn by the mistakes we make. The most important thing for me is that my kids are happy, healthy and have good manners and values. #maternitymondays

  5. November 30, 2015 / 5:03 pm

    No-one is THE perfect parent – but everyone is a perfect parent to their own child 🙂 Love this post #KCACOLS

  6. November 30, 2015 / 8:25 pm

    I agree with Claire. I too was perfect-even during my first pregnancy. No Peppa Pig, no plastic toys. Ha bloody ha. I'm on number 2 and I am still making mistakes. The thing I think is, if you love your children, you will be perfect to them and that is all that matters. #MaternityMondays

  7. November 30, 2015 / 9:02 pm

    Great post. I'm definitely not a perfect parent, but always hope to do better. Happy and healthy (as can be) children is the main thing I think. xx #KCACOLS

  8. November 30, 2015 / 10:15 pm

    I remember reading that although no one is a prefect parent, you are the prefect parent for your child. Sounds a bit bonkers, but it does help

  9. December 1, 2015 / 1:10 am

    Haha, no way am I perfect! I think that's OK though as most people aren't. I think that love blinds you to imperfections for the most part anyway. I feel like my wife is a pretty perfect parent to our son but realistically I'm sure she's not.

    Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x

  10. December 1, 2015 / 12:08 pm

    No way is there such a think as a perfect parent, just a parent doing their best #TwinklyTuesdday

  11. December 1, 2015 / 2:10 pm

    Loved this post! It's true that we are not perfect parents but we are doing everything possible to raise our kids the best way that we can. I think we all struggle as parents and it's great to show that part of Parenthood instead of lying and pretending to be "perfect" parents.

  12. December 1, 2015 / 5:46 pm

    If we are all individual then there is no such thing as perfect. I am sure not perfect and mess up a lot but I am trying my.best and making.improvements X #KCACOLS

  13. December 3, 2015 / 10:13 am

    I am definitely not a perfect parent but always strive to be one ( whatever one is!!) Great post! 🙂 #KCACOLS

  14. December 3, 2015 / 12:50 pm

    I am totally not the perfect parent, but we learn from our mistakes don't we and god loves a trier so I'm always told ha! Great post! #KCACOLS

  15. December 5, 2015 / 6:56 pm

    I'm definitely not the perfect parent at all!! But I tried the best I can to be a good parent for my girls and as you said I hope that when my girls grow up they will remember that they had a nice childhood, This is all I care about. This is a great post Wendy!! I really like it!! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I'm so happy to have you again this week. 🙂 xx

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