I am now almost 31 weeks pregnant with my third baby and things are getting really real now. Baby girl no longer kicks gently like soft fluttering butterfly wings stroking my skin, her limbs are instead poking out all over the place and she is constantly booting me in the ribs! My belly is huge and is stretching more everyday, I also have a pretty impressive waddle going on. The weeks are now down into single digits and I can say baby is due in 2 months now which feels insane as the day I found out back in November feels like last week. As my due date gets closer I am finding myself lost in thoughts about what life is going to be like once our daughter arrives. Something I am worrying about is how I will cope with three young children and whether I will get postnatal depression again. I’ve written a poem to try and get all these muddled thoughts out, to try and make sense of how I am feeling. It’s called Who will I be when there are three? If you too have suffered with postnatal depression and are now pregnant again, I am sure some of these words will resonate with you.
Who will I be when there are three?
Who will I be when there are three?
Will I be overwhelmed or will I be happy?
Will I lose all grasp of my identity?
Will I get lost in a storm like a ship lost at sea?
Will I still be me when there are three?
Who will I be when there is one more?
Will I get postnatal depression like I did before?
Will I cope when there’s five of us instead of four?
Will I still enjoy motherhood or will each day be a chore?
Will I still feel like me in my core when there is one more?
Who will I be when there’s three kids instead of two?
Will I be a confident mum or not know what to do?
Will I have hard days but still somehow make it through?
Will I always say I’m ok and will that be true?
Will I still be the same person to you when there’s three kids instead of two?
Who will I be when we’re a family of five?
Will I find it tough with a trio or will we all thrive?
Will I be smiling each day or barely make it to bedtime alive?
Will I enjoy our time together or will I just be trying to survive?
Will I be full of positivity and drive when we become a family of five?
Who will I be when another baby is in our home?
Will I be happy in the crowd of children or feel more alone?
Will I cherish the moments or will I complain and moan?
Will I have anxiety about the baby and analyse everything with a fine toothed comb?
Will I feel relaxed or like I’m trapped in a dome when another baby is in our home?
Who will I be as our family grows?
Will I go to the dark and watch my worst fears play like TV shows?
Will I experience more wonderful highs than devastating lows?
Will I be so full of pride and love my heart almost glows?
Will I be full of joy and hold everyone close as our family grows?
Who will I be?
Will I still be me?
No one knows, not you or me.
We are just going to have to wait and see
Who I will be when there are three.
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Hello Wendy,
This is beautifully written and I can’t imagine raising 3 beautiful babies and whatever it is we can all conquer any obstacle. I wish you good luck and good health.
What a gorgeous poem. I felt very similar ahead of having our third. Sending lots of love and strength to you for when the time comes x