5 reasons why I don’t cherish every moment

5 reasons why I don’t cherish every moment

I love being a mum, I really really do. I have brought two beautiful boys into this world and they have changed my life completely. Although it was only 3 years ago, memories of life before children are a blur and are somewhat overshadowed by all the amazing memories that have been made since. Yes, being a mum is the best thing ever.

Except when it’s not.

I struggle to get on board with the whole ‘cherish every moment’ approach to parenting. I love my boys and want to remember and treasure as much of their childhood as possible but I would be telling a massive lie if I said I want to remember all of it.

Motherhood is a journey of many ups and downs and twist and turns, obviously there are going to be loads a few bumps along the road. I know I am incredibly lucky to have two children and I should be grateful for the tough times as atleast it means  I have children to experience the good times with.

But no, I don’t cherish every moment and I bet if you thought about it, you don’t want to keep every second of motherhood securely stored away in your memory bank forever either.

Here are just 5 examples of why cherishing every moment seems crazy to me. You can tell me I won’t feel this way when my children have grown and flown the nest but I’m not so sure. I’m all for keeping memories of the good times and those are the things I will miss when I’m no longer a mother to two little boys but two grown men instead. I won’t miss all of these things…..

5 reasons why I don’t cherish every moment

1. I miss the days where leaving the house was as simple as grabbing my keys, putting my shoes on and opening the door. I don’t savour the hours spent asking Leo to get his coat on, find his wellies, to stop throwing his toys around and to just get outside to the damn car.  The battles to leave the house every single day, I’m not cherishing those one bit.

2. I quite like my clothes to stay clean for more than 2 hours at a time, changing my outfit more times than a model at fashion week is not something I have the energy or time for. I don’t fondly gaze at the sick on my shoulder, the wee stain on my top or the snot trails down my leggings. One day my clothes will not be covered in someone else’s bodily fluids, I don’t cherish being a human tissue.

3. I won’t miss the unexplained baby cries, the ones that leave you feeling completely clueless what to do as you feel like you’ve exhausted every option. I am not making a conscious effort to remember all the times my children have cried and I have not known what to do to help them. I won’t miss the sound of those cries or the stress they so easily induce, I am certainly not cherishing them to recall when the baby days are over.

4. The struggle to get my 3 year old to eat healthily is not something I will long for when he is all grown up. Pretty much every single meal of every single day is centred around a battle of wills to try and get Leo to eat his vegetables and to not smother everything in red sauce. I actually look forward to a day where we can sit and have a meal together where my son doesn’t declare ‘I don’t like it, it’s gross’ before he has even touched anything on his plate.

5. I am most definitely not cherishing the thousands of tantrums I have had to endure. There is no way my heart will ache when I’m fifty for the days where Leo was screaming on the floor, kicking, hitting and trying to bite me. I will not desperately want to be reliving the moments where I have had to apologise to other mums after Leo has had a fight with their child. I won’t be wishing to feel the stress caused by trying to leave soft play or the playground with a fiercely independent toddler who doesn’t want to leave.

Cherish every moment? No way. Cherishing the little people who make up those moments? Of course I am.

I never want to forget their little faces, the way their mouth and eyes look when they smile and laugh or the way Leo’s little voice sounds when he sings to himself or tells me he loves me. I don’t want to forget how soft Alex’s little hands are or the feeling of him snuggling into my shoulder when he’s tired. These are the things I will cherish along with so many more moments because you know what? Unfortunately, remembering the bad times is a lot easier than recalling the precious every day moments that can get lost amongst the chaos of life with two small children, it is those special moments I need to make a conscious effort to cherish.

So yes, I only photograph the good times as they are the moments I want captured forever, they will be the moments in time I will wish I could return to when my children have grown up. If I ever do feel the need to remember the hard times, I’ve got most of them documented here on this very blog so I can always go delving into my archives if I am craving memories of tantrums or arguments over broccoli.

What should happen to the memories of the hard times you may ask? Well as far as I’m concerned they can disappear into the part of my mind that is currently holding on to things like how to do algebra  and how to speak Welsh. The place where memories go when I don’t need or want them anymore but are not lost forever. Just in case.


What do you think? Do you cherish every moment? Do you think you will miss every part of parenting children when your kids have grown up? Do you think I am wrong and I should be trying to store memories of this time with my kids, even the hard times? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

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  1. February 24, 2017 / 5:42 am

    Great post! And you’re right, you can’t cherish every moment because real life means some things aren’t always fantastic. Like poop on a wall, or a dog knocking someone’s tooth out. #BlogCrush
    Heather Keet recently posted…The true cost of childhood…My Profile

  2. February 24, 2017 / 7:09 am

    So true! I too don’t cherish every moment, particularly related to getting them dressed in the morning before school! I hate fighting every single day about appropriate clothing! It’s madness. #blogcrush

  3. February 24, 2017 / 7:27 am

    Brilliant post chick – absolutely agree so much! The food battles, the tantrums – urgh! Luckily the good outweighs the bad xx #blogcrush

  4. February 24, 2017 / 8:24 am

    It is funny as reading this brought back lots of memories for me now that mine are a bit older and easier. Although I will soon have teenager so things may get harder again, lets hope not. I never had an easy baby, mine were all bad sleepers, Aspen screamed the house down if I wasn’t walking that halls holding her all through the night. Do I wish I could relive that? No. But in some ways looking back I do feel grateful for them, it amy sound weird, but it was part of our journey, part of the relationship I have built with them. Part of me can say wow I survived that, I may not always know how, and I sure made mistakes but I survived and I am proud of myself. Does that make sense? Parenting is so hard, and some moments suck, but I can kind of look back with rose coloured glasses now. #BlogCrush
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…To the women I violated in the change room. I apologise.My Profile

  5. February 24, 2017 / 11:59 am

    Such an honest and great post! There are definitely things I don’t cherish and things that I miss, yet I still wouldn’t change things for the world 🙂 #BlogCrush
    Laura @ Autumn’s Mummy recently posted…Think before you formula-bash My Profile

  6. February 24, 2017 / 12:30 pm

    Loved this – you’re so right. The day to day, the mundane parts of parenting won’t stick fast in the mind with me. Cherishing every moment is not realistic at all! #BlogCrush ❤
    Em Linthorpe recently posted…Get to Know Me TagMy Profile

  7. February 24, 2017 / 1:04 pm

    I absolutely love this! I confess to getting a bit irked by those who suggest that by not cherishing the terrible times you don’t appreciate how lucky you are to have a child.
    I appreciate my children every day, I know I’m lucky to have them but by GOD I will not miss being elbowed, head butted and ignored on daily basis! If I do find myself feeling down because I didn’t cherish a moment then I will argue with a wall for half hour so the moment comes flooding back 🙂
    Anna recently posted…Children-The Strongest blizzards start with a single snowflake.My Profile

  8. February 24, 2017 / 3:39 pm

    Love this post! Wish more families were more honest with themselves!! #blogcrush

  9. February 24, 2017 / 5:52 pm

    YES! Motherhood has magical moments certainly but it also has a whole heap of sad and frustrating and worrying moments too. Certainly don’t cherish every one #BlogCrush

  10. February 24, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    Yes to this! I have no doubt that I will look back fondly and miss these times, while my little ones still run to me for a cuddle, and while their lives still revolve around their dad and I. I’m pretty sure that the epic battle to the front door each day will not be something that I’ll rush to recall though, nor the screeching plank in Asda! Brilliantly written as always lovely. Thanks for hosting #blogcrush x
    Rhyming with Wine recently posted…#happylittlebuttons February Round-upMy Profile

  11. February 24, 2017 / 8:04 pm

    Yes to this! I have no doubt that I will look back fondly and miss these times, while my little ones still run to me for a cuddle, and while their lives still revolve around their dad and I. I’m pretty sure that the epic battle to the front door each day will not be something that I’ll rush to recall though, nor the screeching plank in Asda! Brilliantly written as always lovely. Thanks for hosting #blogcrush xx
    Rhyming with Wine recently posted…#happylittlebuttons February Round-upMy Profile

  12. February 24, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    I understand the sentiment, but it became yet another thing I added to my list of things i was failing at as a new Mum. Not only was I not able to get this tiny girl to stop crying or to sleep, but I wasn’t loving EVERY.SINGLE.SECOND of it. Life is highs and lows and the people who determinedly keep that grin plastered to their faces insisting they’re just loving it, well, good luck to them.

  13. February 24, 2017 / 8:48 pm

    I love this post and kind of sums up how I feel after a really tough week. I’m happy to forget this week and move on. #blogcrush

  14. February 24, 2017 / 9:05 pm

    Goodness no, I definitely don’t cherish every moment. I’ve written a blog post (linked-up actually) of a similar theme about how sometimes you just don’t like your child. It’s hard work and who can honestly say they love every minute of their life…with or without kids.

    I love your approach of only capturing the good moments on camera and then writing the bad ones down just incase you ever need to reflect on them!

    Angela Watling recently posted…Love doesn’t always mean like…but that’s okay!My Profile

  15. February 25, 2017 / 7:13 am

    I don’t think it’s about cherishing all the times that make you want to rip your hair out and run screaming out of the house. But I do think you end up cherishing that time in your life even if it was difficult. You look back on it as a learning exprience that become a part of who you are. When Peachy was first born, those early months were hard. We were sleep deprived first time parents trying to figure out what to do. Even then I knew that one day I would look back on that time with fondness and only 14 months later, I already do. It was hard, emotional, at times incredibly frustrating, but it was the greatest learning experience of my life. I would not be the mother I am today without that difficult part of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. #BlogCrush

  16. February 25, 2017 / 9:43 am

    Very honest post and true, parenting can certainly be tough and not every moment is great #fortheloveofBLOG

  17. February 25, 2017 / 4:38 pm

    This is great – I love being a new mum more than anything in the world, but some of it is tough as hell and I secretly look forward to future milestones (like moving out for example ) #fortheloveofBLOG

  18. Helen
    February 25, 2017 / 6:54 pm

    It’s impossible to cherish EVERY moment, nothing would get done haha. All those ‘forgettable’ moments create the space my brain needs to coordinate hand and foot when driving or remember to turn the gas off after I finish cooking! On a serious note, I love the idea of cherishing the little people rather than the moment. #BlogCrush
    Helen recently posted…Games my one year old lovesMy Profile

  19. February 25, 2017 / 8:06 pm

    Real life isn’t always delightful! Real children are not Topsy and Tim-like and they do sometimes drive us to wine! And we can then cherish the moment enjoying the glass of wine!
    Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes recently posted…The future?My Profile

  20. Claire
    February 25, 2017 / 11:16 pm

    Haha I loved this! Being a human tissue
    Isn’t my favourite either! I think they’re things we’all forget when they’re older though! I always think that you look back on things with rose tinted glasses and forget how blooming hard it was, like childbirth! #blogcrush
    Claire recently posted…REVIEW: Overcoming my fear of exerciseMy Profile

  21. February 26, 2017 / 12:01 pm

    Now that is a lovely post, and very authentic too! Putting it all down so succinctly, and the limit to 5, genius! Great post. #BlogCrush xo

  22. February 26, 2017 / 2:50 pm

    I completely agree with you on this. Thankfully (for the most part anyway) the good times outweigh the bad.
    Ali Duke recently posted…It’s My Birthday!My Profile

  23. February 26, 2017 / 9:50 pm

    I absolutely relate to every point you’ve made! Very true post! You’ve just reminded me I need to get a video of Gray playing a certain game of his, where he puts on this incredibly adorable silly voice, definitely a memory I want to keep! xx #fortheloveofblog
    Claire recently posted…Chocolate Creme Egg Cakes!My Profile

  24. February 27, 2017 / 11:58 am

    I totally agree and certainly do not cherish every moment! Especially when I get rice crispies thrown at me at breakfast when he cant use the iPad…or a toy car gets launched across the room! it appears I have a toddler whos tantrums means he likes to throw things! I do not cherish these moments… #fortheloveofblog

  25. February 27, 2017 / 6:28 pm

    Hi Wendy, who’s to say who’s right and who’s wrong? I can say that now babyhood and toddlerhood are distant memories I do cherish those more painful moments too. One of my favourite school photos of my daughter is one where she looks like her Granny just died. Why? Because that was her face at its most natural…. I can now look back on the time it took us to get out of the door or our ‘power’ struggles with fondness because we survived. At the time I was probably pulling my hair out and cursing my husband for ever wanting children.

    I can safely say that now my two are no longer children I do look back and cherish those moments, but then I’ve always been a bit quirky.

    Debbie Roberts recently posted…Monday Morning Blog Club 27/02/17My Profile

  26. February 27, 2017 / 8:02 pm

    Yup I’m totally with you on this one. I think it puts far too much pressure on mums to say “cherish every moment” – there are moments that are not cherishable! It’s always good to take stock of what you’ve got and remember how blessed you are to have these wonderful little humans, but you can’t enjoy every moment of every day. #blogcrush
    Lucy At Home recently posted…Blog Crush #2: 24th February 2017My Profile

  27. February 27, 2017 / 9:29 pm

    I hear you hun, I feel like sometimes I’m wishing my life away willing to move on from the bad times. You’re right I don’t cherish every moment, but I do cherish our daughter. I love it when she eventually falls asleep on me after a battle of over tiredness. Lovely post hun and thank you for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

  28. February 28, 2017 / 9:35 am

    This is so true! Cherish 90% off the moments, but always long for a hot drink and solo loo break 🙂 #blogcrush

  29. February 28, 2017 / 9:24 pm

    Its tough isn’t it. I always feel guilty when I moan but then I think… when my daughter is pregnant or a new mother herself one day (if that happens) then I would like for her to read my blog and know that everyone finds it tough, it’s not just her and it all turns out ok. #fortheloveofblog
    Sammie recently posted…My 2.5 year old doesn’t sleep through the night.My Profile

  30. March 6, 2017 / 9:07 am

    Such a lovely warming blog. I already miss the fact that my two year old doesn’t want the same cuddles anymore. I cherish those moments when they snuggle round you with their little legs wrapped round. Precious times.

  31. March 6, 2017 / 11:34 am

    I’m past most of those moments and no they definitely haven’t been cherished. But there are plenty of memories that I do cherish and they more than make up for the difficult times. Life does get easier with kids, although there will always be moments to not cherish.
    Anne recently posted…Why Do We Worry About Our Kids?My Profile

  32. March 6, 2017 / 3:25 pm

    A very honest post. Thank you. It gave me food for thought. I didn’t enjoy those times at the time, but now as mine are older (7 and 10) they are amusing little stories that both of them love to hear. They can’t believe some of the things they did and ask me to tell them again and again. So I guess what I am saying is, perhaps the further away you are from the very stressful parts of parenting, the more able you are to see the light in the shade.

  33. March 10, 2017 / 7:52 pm

    I guess in theory I am a cherish every moment kind of person – not just in parenting but in life. I subscribe to playing ‘The Glad Game’ (think Pollyanna), but you’ve got me on Number Three. There is no way even I can cherish those moments when the babies cry and there is nothing you can do to stop them. Thank you for sharing this post with us at #PostsFromTheHeart and reminding us that it’s ok not to cherish EVERY moment x
    Mummy Times Two recently posted…What Choices Do You Have If There Isn’t A School That Can Meet Need?My Profile

  34. April 7, 2017 / 7:45 pm

    Oh darling, I’m with you. Some of those moments fill you with dread and some with actual anguish and heartbreaking doubt about your own ability to parent and can overshadow even the good moments. While you’re busy thinking you’re a crappy parent that wasn’t able to to the vegetable dish their kids just gobble up or your get their kids to not have tantrums 24/7 the good moments can actually slide you by. I won’t mind remembering some things, like the milk stains and such, but I suppose I am selective about what I choose to keep in the memory bank, if indeed I have any control over it 🙂 x #blogcrush