The brand new seires of Game of Thrones starts on Monday and it is safe to say that I am more than a bit excited. Although I am still reeling from the end of series 5, #forthewatch #heartbroken, I can’t wait to see what this series has in store. My favourite thing about Game of Thrones is not the violence, the sex or the creepy White Walkers, it is following all the different characters and their messed up little lives. Most of my favourites have now fallen victim to the cruel writing of George R R Martin and been brutally killed off (sob) but one person who is still going strong is the woman of too many names to list, Daenerys Targaryen.
As I watch Daenerys conquer city after city I can’t help but think motherhood would be a lot easier if I was the Mother of Dragons. Confused? Let me explain..
Why parenting would be easier if I was the Mother of Dragons
I would have advisors – There is no way miss Targaryen would be where she is today without her advisors. Although their advice may not have always been good and their morals on occasion have been extremely questionable (Ser Jorah for instance – what is his deal?), with their help Daenerys has managed to make a pretty good life for herself. My advisors would not be a love sick, backstabbing knight or a dwarf on the run after murdering his father. My advisors would come in the form of Marry Poppins and Super Nanny. Hopefully between the two of them they could help me navigate through this stressful journey of parenthood and toddler tantrums/Mummy meltdowns could be kept to a minimum.
I would have an army – Unlike the Mother of Dragons, I would not have armies made up of scary Dothraki men or the tougher than they look Unsullied. Although they seem to fare pretty well in actual battle, their fighting skills are not what I am looking for. My army would be made up of all the characters from Peppa Pig, Ben and Holly and The Twirlywoos. There would also be a choir ready to burst into song at any point, with a full lyrical knowledge of every nursery rhyme ever created. There would be Disney characters dotted around with bowls full of yummy snacks and hiding in the back would be Mr Tumble, you know, for absolute emergencies only. My army wouldn’t follow me around because that is just too much for any sane person to handle, however, they will never be far away and will always be eager to help calm a grumpy toddler or keep him entertained while I go for a wee in peace. Anything to keep their queen me happy.
People would listen to me – I am not sure if it just because Daenerys has dragons or not but people seem to listen to her. As far as I can tell she doesn’t have any experience actually ruling a kingdom but the people of Mereen are letting her get on with it. I don’t have any prior experience in parenting, I am just getting on with it but people don’t always listen to me. Health visitors have just brushed off Leo’s bad behaviour/fussy eating as a phase without offering any help whatsoever, I politely ask people to move so I can get the pushchair past only to be ignored. If I had the calm yet authoritative manner of the Mother of Dragons, I would never have to accidently-on-purpose run over someone’s foot with the pram again.
I would look amazing – Khaleesi always looks amazing doesn’t she? Even when her face was covered in blood after eating a horse heart or after she had just spent all night in an actual burning fire, her hair was still friggin perfect. All I have to do is get through the day with a toddler to look after and most some days I don’t even brush my hair. I guess I would have someone to do my hair for me if was a queen though and my daily outfit of choice would be a beautiful dress not leggings and a jumper covered in unidentifiable stains.
and the most obvious reason…
I would have dragons – I would not only have one dragon either, I would have three. Three dragons that wouldn’t try and eat me or set me on fire or anything. I would be the coolest Mum ever! Toddler about to have a melt down because his biscuit snapped in half? No problem son, shall we go for a fly on the dragons? Of course, dragons are very dangerous creatures but being their Mother we would have an unspoken agreement that they would not bring any harm to me or my human offspring. Also, next time a middle aged man in a BMW steals my parent and toddler parking spot in Asda I will just quietly mention I have three hungry dragons at home, just kidding…
source: via GIPHY
If you haven’t seen it yet and want to get all excited for the new series, here is the trailer for Game of Thrones series 6. So excited!