Where did my happy boy go?

I usually do all my blogging when Leo is asleep but I feel like I can not wait until sometime this afternoon to write this post. While Leo is at last happily playing with his toys, I need to take the next 5 minutes to vent and ask all you lovely mums and dads out there for some advice.

This morning I took Leo to a new baby group in a bid for us to have some fun and hopefully get to know some new people. I am still struggling to connect with anyone down here, I am missing my friends in Swansea and I really just wanted us to get out the house and try and make our faces a bit more known in our local community.

Leo had other ideas.

The group lasted about 45 minutes and for only about 5 minutes of it was he happy. He didn’t want to join in with any of the singing or dancing and had a massive tantrum when he wasn’t allowed to play with the bubble machine. Every other child in there was enjoying themselves, their mums gleefully clapping along with looks of pride on their faces. I, on the other hand, was a woman on the edge. Why is he so grumpy all the time? I try and take him to nice groups, soft play or do crafts with him and it always ends in tears. Half the time it starts with tears too.

When Leo was younger everyone used to say how lucky I was to have such a happy boy and I don’t think I appreciated that time enough. Now, every single day is a struggle, a mission to keep Leo happy and avoid his almighty tantrums. The things that used to make him laugh now rarely receive a half hearted smile. When we go out to groups he is more interested in trying to find an escape route and I am living in a dream world if I think he actually enjoys play dates.

I just don’t know what to do. He doesn’t act like this with other people so I feel like no one understands. Oli is at work all day and when he sees other family he is always good, like he saves all his bad behaviour just for me.

I try to tell him off if he’s been naughty and he just doesn’t listen and before I know it I am comforting him, I just hate him crying. Most of the time though his tantrums are so bad there really is nothing I can do. He doesn’t let me pick him up, he screams in to the floor and, most worryingly, tries to bite himself.

I just want my happy boy back, Obviously, there are good days but at the minute these are hard to come by, When we have one of those mythical ‘tantrum free days’, I feel like super mum and I just wish I could feel like that every day.

I don’t know what to do. Stay in the house every day with Thomas the Tank on repeat, maybe? Become a hermit with no friends and let Leo have free roam of the house to do as he pleases? I just want my boy to be happy, I feel like turning two has turned him into a completely different person.

Where did my happy boy go?

Anyone else really struggling with the terrible twos? If anyone could recommend some good blogs/books that offer great advice and coping strategies then please share in the comments. Have you got any advice, any magic tricks that help make a grumpy toddler smile?


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  1. mumisthewordblog
    November 8, 2015 / 12:24 pm

    Don't worry, it's just a rough patch. Your doing a fabulous job. Maybe try to take some familiar toys to the group so he has that connection and stay close to him. He could feel a bit vulnerable. It sounds like he is demanding your attention with those cheeky tantrums, maybe he is experiencing a bit of jealously with the other children in the room. Your doing a fabulous job though, I appauld you for the repeat cartoon watching alone. It's all new for him too remember, just keep doing what your doing and introducing new environments etc slowly into his routine. You will get there, it's temporary remember. Be strong! #KCAKOLS

  2. Lucy O
    November 8, 2015 / 3:38 pm

    Totally agree with mumistheword above…it is temporary! Doesn't make it much easier though at the time of course, but definitely worth remembering! My two year old has some really bad habits in some environments which can definitely upset me. I also think it's very common for toddlers to be 'better behaved' for others…remember you are his safe place…the place and person that means he can display all his big feelings too, the behaviours we love and the ones we hope are phases. The comparison thing is so hard, I do that all the time (i'm sure everyone does) but you don't know what they are really feeling…maybe they are so pleased their child is enjoying the bubbles because it means their toddler is NOT at that one moment, tantrumming, crying, hitting someon etc. I have found toddlercalm incredibly helpful. Look after yourself lots, hope you get lots of better days soon. #KCACOLS

  3. Franca Desjardins
    November 10, 2015 / 7:27 pm

    This is definitely a phase. All kids go through these bad patches!! It is completely normal!! Around the 2 years they are in the a process of being more independent and they could be very stubborn sometimes. I remember Bella being difficult at that time too. Although these phases come and go so they will never be happy kids or naughty kids for long periods. Bella (5 yo) still has tantrums but of course in a different way than a 2 yo. Just be patient as it won't last long you will have a happy phase again!! Thanks for sharing this at #KCACOLS. It makes me very happy that you come are back again for this week. I love reading your stories! 🙂 xx

  4. Ellie Key
    November 10, 2015 / 8:32 pm

    I'm sure it is a phase that will pass, but also remember that he just relocated too and, just like you're struggling with it, all the change will be affecting him as well – maybe this is how it's showing itself. It's hard, but it won't last forever. Just keep your cool and give him safe ways to express how he's feeling. xx

  5. November 11, 2015 / 10:42 am

    Yip this is definitely a phase and hopefully it isn't one that will last to long. I know it's not easy as we too are going through something similar. Holly has a meltdown over just about everything these day. As for playgroups I would still take him but before hand warn him that you are going.Try asking who or what he'll play with when he gets there. Also take his favourite toy with him so that his toy can also have fun. Keep up you're doing fab hon.xx #KCACOLS

  6. November 16, 2015 / 4:00 pm

    Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I guess I sometimes forget that this town is completely new to him too and the new places I take him to might worry him a bit and that's why he misbehaves, maybe? Things have been a bit better this past weeks so fingers crossed he is getting more used to everything xx

  7. November 16, 2015 / 4:04 pm

    Ohh, what is toddlercalm? Yes I know in my rational brain that it is just a phase but it is hard to think of that when a tantrum is in full swing. I know, it is so hard not to compare isn't it? And I am sure you're right and the other mums are just happy their child isn't having a tantrum, it is hard not to feel a bit jealous/frustrated when yours is the only one kicking off though. Thank you for your lovely comment xx

  8. November 16, 2015 / 4:07 pm

    Aww thank you Franca, I love linking up at #KCACOLS such a lovely lot of bloggers joining in every week. I am glad to hear it is just a a phase and I know kids of all ages have tantrums – my niece is 10 and some of hers could rival Leo's. I am looking forward to the next happy phase! xx

  9. November 16, 2015 / 4:09 pm

    I know, I think because he has completely settled in at home that sometimes I forget everything is still new to him too. It is just hard because his tantrums are horrific and there really is not much I can do. I worry so much because he bites his hands when he gets really frustrated, I am trying to stop this and really hope it is just another phase. Thank you for your comment xx

  10. November 16, 2015 / 4:11 pm

    Great idea about taking a toy to playgroup. He does love playing with the toys available but maybe if a meltdown is brewing I could surprise him with his favourite toy and distract him, maybe? It is so hard when they have tantrums over everything isn't it?! I hope your little Holly gets past this phase soon as well xx