A new year has landed and I’ve got that fresh start and new beginnings feeling going on, are you feeling it too? I am not making any new years resolutions or setting any blog goals though as I never manage to see them through or stick with the new habits so I won’t even be trying in 2019. Besides, I don’t really want to eat less chocolate or start jogging and isn’t that what most peoples new years resolutions are anyway? There are lots of things I want for the year ahead though and one of the main ones is to be happier. Regular readers of my blog will know I have battled with post natal depression and anxiety over the last two years and although I feel I have mostly recovered, there are still the bad mental health days now and then that can leave me feeling overwhelmed, anxious and sad. From now on, whenever I am doubting myself, whenever I feel like a bad mum or that I am not good enough, I am going to have a positive little word with myself and shift back into a happier mind set. If you want to be a happier mum this year too, here are five things to tell yourself every day.
5 things to tell yourself every day to be a happier mum in 2019
I am doing my best – Parenting is hard. Us parents have to deal with so much everyday for our kids and it can be all too easy to feel like we are failing at certain things. Whenever you feel like this, like you are failing your kids in some way, just remind yourself that you are doing your best and that’s all that your kids, and yourself, can ask for. You’re not a failure mama, parenting is a constant learning curve and we are all learning together.
I am enough – When you are depressed, anxious or feel like your drowning in mum guilt, falling into a negative head space is easy to do but hard to climb out of. You are not a bad mum, your kids would not be better off with someone else raising them, your kids don’t hate you. You are enough. To your kids, no matter how many times you may have shouted at them today or said no, you are perfect and the only mummy they would ever want. You are enough.
I’ve got this – Nappy explosion? First ever trip to a baby group? Making it through the day after just three hours sleep? It may not be easy but you can do it. You will make it through the day, there will be some smiles amongst the tantrums and the tears, bedtime will arrive and you will have a chance to relax a little. Big or small, whatever the day make throw at you, you will get through it, us mamas always do – we’ve totally got this.
There’s no such thing as super mum – Sorry to break it to you, super mum does NOT exist so please stop putting pressure on yourself to be her. You can only do as much as you can do, don’t sacrifice your mental wellbeing by trying to push yourself into the form of this perfect mother who is nothing more than a figment of your pre-motherhood expectations of what being a good mum looks like. A good mum is simply someone who loves her kids unconditionally and I’m pretty sure that you do. Relax, do what you can but don’t exhaust yourself and dig yourself into a hole full of overwhelm and anxiety by trying to do it all. No one is doing it all, trust me.
There’s happiness to be found in every day – If you have PND or are really struggling to feel positive for whatever reason, try not to give up on joy. There is happiness to be found in the smallest of things, focus on these when you feel like there’s nothing good left in your life. A smile from your baby, a hot cup of tea, an unexpected phone call from a friend, a hug from a loved one, your favourite song coming on the radio, a walk in the sunshine – they may seem small but cherish these things, these small moments can help shift your perspective and remind you it’s worth carrying on even when life feels too hard. A little tip, when my PND was really bad I kept a gratitude journal, recording the small happy things from each day really helped to show me there was still joy all around me, even though my depressed brain was trying to tell me otherwise.
Write these affirmations on post its and stick them to your mirror, print them off and frame them to put on your desk, scrawl them over the pages of your notebook – I don’t care what you do just don’t forget them. They may just be five small sentences but they can really help to make you feel better about yourself and if you say them enough you will start to realise that they are true. Here’s to a positive and happy 2019, keep smiling mamas.
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to read..
There are also many more posts about post natal depression and looking after your mental wellbeing over in the mental health section of my blog.