Naptime Natter

Mental health after pregnancy – Am I getting better?

Mental health after pregnancy – Am I getting better?
It’s been a little while now since I last wrote about my anxiety and post natal depression here on the blog. It’s not that I’ve not wanted to talk about it but I’ve been so busy writing about other stuff and the kids have been keeping me on my toes, finding the time and motivation to talk about my mental health has been difficult. Anyway, since that day I found myself drowning in my sadness and anxiety in December I have been working hard, with the support of my husband, to try and get myself back on track. I’ve been trying everyday to be my happy self again and I think my efforts are starting to pay off.

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My 3 year old wants to be Peter Pan

My 3 year old wants to be Peter Pan

“All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, ‘Oh, why can’t you remain like this for ever!’ This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end.” – J.M.Barrie Peter Pan View Post

5 reasons why I don’t cherish every moment

5 reasons why I don’t cherish every moment

I love being a mum, I really really do. I have brought two beautiful boys into this world and they have changed my life completely. Although it was only 3 years ago, memories of life before children are a blur and are somewhat overshadowed by all the amazing memories that have been made since. Yes, being a mum is the best thing ever.

Except when it’s not.

I struggle to get on board with the whole ‘cherish every moment’ approach to parenting. I love my boys and want to remember and treasure as much of their childhood as possible but I would be telling a massive lie if I said I want to remember all of it.

Motherhood is a journey of many ups and downs and twist and turns, obviously there are going to be loads a few bumps along the road. I know I am incredibly lucky to have two children and I should be grateful for the tough times as atleast it means  I have children to experience the good times with.

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The pill for men, will it ever exist?

The pill for men, will it ever exist?

When it comes to contraception there are very few options for the men of the world. In fact, there are only two options: condoms or a vasectomy. That’s it.  For us ladies? Well, we have a pretty extensive list to choose from: the pill, injection, coil and implant to name just a few. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is fantastic us women are able to take control of our own bodies and decide if and when we want to conceive a child. However, taking some forms of contraception can play havoc on a woman’s hormones and body. Contraception is great for preventing pregnancy but can cause all manner of other problems for some of us. So, wouldn’t it be amazing if, for once, the men in our lives could have bits of metal stuck in them for months? Or there was a special pill they could take every day to help prevent an unwanted pregnancy? I am pondering this now as Alex is 3 months old, I am soo not ready for another baby and there is no way I am going back on the pill or getting the evil implant again, so what are we supposed to do? I would love a contraceptive just for men to be invented, to give my body a break from interfering hormones and to take the pressure off me a bit. Surely scientists can come up with something better than a bit of rubber? View Post

A letter to my first born

A letter to my first born

Dear Leo,

I have been thinking about writing this letter to you for a while now. Your baby brother is due to come into the world in just a week’s time, I am rapidly running out of time to tell you everything I want to say. So, here goes.. View Post

5 easy ways to enjoy me time at home

5 easy ways to enjoy me time at home

Ahh the elusive ‘me time’, something all us parents crave but rarely get the opportunity to enjoy. Being a mum to an almost 3 year old I am always searching for a spare 5 (or 10) minutes I can grab for myself, away from the toddler chaos and all the other demands of the stay at home parent life.

In reality, I feel like I need more than 10 minutes. I feel like a whole week at a spa retreat, doing yoga and having daily massages would just about give me the energy boost I seriously need after 3 years of parenting. Unfortunately, with a family and house to look after and with barely enough money to fund a weekend of camping in a field, a week at a spa just isn’t feasible right now.

If you are in the same situation as me then fear not, yes a week of relaxing bliss may be out of the question but there are still ways you can grab some precious me time at home. Here are some examples of how you can unwind and relax after a hectic day of changing nappies, chasing toddlers around, washing 50 loads of clothes, cleaning the floor under the high chair, toddler group hell..do I need to go on? View Post

A letter to my social life

A letter to my social life

Dear social life,

Where did you go? I miss you. I’ve been searching for you for the last few years and I can’t find you anywhere. Where are you hiding?

We used to get on so well, I don’t know what I did for you to leave me in the lurch like this? Remember all those times when I was a teenager? Me and you were thriving then, you got me out of the house most days, filled my life with friends and fun. Do you remember all the nights out you were responsible for? All the hours spent dancing and laughing and all the headaches and head in the toilet moments that followed the next day? I miss those days, although I will admit I don’t miss the hangovers. View Post

Modern day song lyrics to live your life by

What cheers you up and makes you happy? When you are feeling low or need a little boost, what do you do? For me, if I need to get motivated or want to get into a better mood I stick the radio on. A sing and dance to some music can really help if you are feeling a bit down. Sometimes the beats or an amazing voice singing at you are enough to do the trick but, more often than not, it is the lyrics that help make the real difference.

So, for any of you feeling a bit stuck in a rut or if something is getting you down, here is a list of empowering modern day song lyrics. It’s time to turn the music up, get your dancing shoes on and turn those negative thoughts in to positive ones, all with just a little bit of help from these well known pop stars…

“It’s hard to dance with the Devil on your back, so shake him off..”
Florence and the Machine – Shake it out

                                       

Ok, I will just put it out there now, Florence and the Machine is my all time favourite singer ever. I love her, some people find her voice a bit yodel-esque but I think she’s awesome. I love this song and this lyric in particular because it is all about not dwelling on the bad things that may have happened in your life and instead moving on to a happier, more positive place/mind set. If we are too busy carrying around a metaphorical devil with us, it is hard to really appreciate and enjoy life. Shake off those regrets and worries and you will feel much better.
“You shoot me down but I won’t fall, I am titanium..”
David Guetta & Sia – Titanium 
I must admit I am not a big lover of Mr Guetta but I do really like this song. To me, this lyric is really uplifting. As you go through life you are bound to come across people who are going to try and bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself, unfortunately that is just the way it is. It is down to you to be strong and not let them get to you, to bounce back and prove you are a better person than they are. Always be yourself and don’t let other people bring you down. Easier said than done I know but life really is so much better when you don’t dwell on the negativity and instead be strong and move on.
“Haters gunna hate..”
Taylor Swift – Shake it off
Taylor Swift, otherwise known as my guilty pleasure, is responsible for one of my favourite song lyrics ever. Not everyone is going to like you or want to be nice to you, this is the sad but true reality of life. You can’t live your life trying to please everyone because, to put it bluntly, that is just impossible. There are people out there who are just mean and for reasons unknown actually enjoy upsetting other people. As Swifty says’ “Haters gunna hate”, there is not much you can do to stop that but you can not let it get to you. Nasty comment on your blog? Delete it. Bitchy remark from a so called friend? Maybe they are not a real friend after all. Critical or negative response to something good that’s going on in your life? Ignore it. The best way to deal with these people is to just leave them get on with it and you get on with your thing. You’re amazing and there are lots of people out there who think that and for those who don’t, well, who cares? There are plenty of lovely people in the world, leave the bitter ones to the skulk around in their negativity, they will probably realise one day their lives could have been a lot better if they had spent more time being nice to others.
I hope you are feeling empowered and positive and ready to take on the world now. Forget about the bad things and focus on the good, life is so much better when you do.
Do you like to listen to music when you are feeling down? What songs cheer you up? I hope you enjoyed this post and are off to have a boogie around the kitchen now :).

This post is linked to..

My Random Musings

My life’s not Pinterest perfect..but that’s OK.

We live in an age where the internet is King. Us mere humans have been sucked in and have all, somehow, become loyal servants of the World Wide Web. I, of course, am no exception.

In 2016, if you need to know something, anything at all, you simply ask Google and the answers are all there for you, received seconds after they were requested. The internet really is an amazing thing and most of us would feel completely lost without it. However, thanks to the internet, this little thing called social media has wriggled its way into our daily lives and is setting its sights on world domination

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. Without it, hardly anyone would read my blog, it’s a great way to network and keep in touch with friends and family. On the other hand, it can steal so much of your time. I could spend hours on Facebook alone, scrolling but never really seeing, reading statuses from people I haven’t seen in the actual, physical world for years. The things the bothers me most about social media though is how most of the things people post on there go through a filter first. No, InstaGram lovers, I am not talking about Valencia or Amaro. I simply mean this, people are very selective about what they choose to share in the online world.

This is totally up to each individual person of course and I myself am guilty of only sharing the good parts of my life on Facebook or taking 5 photos of the same thing and choosing the best one to post on InstaGram. I don’t do this to make my life seem perfect, I just don’t think people would like reading about the fact the cat just threw up (again) or all the other things that go wrong on a daily basis. I doubt a blurred picture of Leo’s face would get much attention amongst the thousands of perfectly framed ones on InstaGram,

There is one social media platform in particular that always succeeds in making me feel inadequate, and that is Pinterest. As a blogger and generally quite creative person, I love Pinterest. I go there for inspiration and ideas on loads of different things but I always come away from it feeling slightly useless. Everything on Pinterest is so perfect, don’t you think? The recipes and pictures of cakes on there are enough to turn Mary Berry green with envy and all the craft ideas! How do these people come up with all of these ideas and then their children execute them all so perfectly? I am pretty sure most of the ‘100 toddler craft ideas’ are all secretly done by the parents, there is no way a 2 year old can make bunting, there is just no way.

Our romantic homemade pizza, not quite as heart shaped as we were hoping for. It tasted good though so who cares?!

My feelings of jealousy and inadequacy don’t stop me pinning away like someone possessed though. I have boards full of projects and activities, most of which will probably never be attempted.  There are several things I have tried to make using guides I have found on Pinterest and they never look like they are supposed to. The instructions are easy, I have all the required equipment and yet Autumnal crafts end up a sticky, leafy mess and what should be beautifully decorated cupcakes end up slightly sad looking with buttercream icing dripping all over the place.

What I am saying is, my life is not Pinterest perfect. If I wrote up posts on the crafts Leo and I make or some of my kitchen experiments, no one would pin them. Rarely do I make anything so beautiful it can produce an attractive, pinnable image. No one will share a recipe when the end result really does look like a 2 year old made it.

I am OK with that though. I don’t mind that my life isn’t Pinterest perfect. The food I bake may not look amazing but it always tastes yummy. The little things Leo and I make may look rubbish in comparison but at least we have fun making them. It is a shame taste and enjoyment can not be portrayed easily in an image.

While I am still going to pick and choose what I share on my social media channels, I am not going to feel disheartened that my life is not as visually perfect as those of the Pinterest greats. After all, I would much prefer a life that is full of fun and messy crafts and dodgy looking cakes than one spent stressing about creating photos so perfect my blog goes viral.

I will continue to pin toddler distraction techniques!

What do you think of social media? Do you filter what you put on there? Does Pinterest make you feel a bit crap sometimes too? I would love to know what you think.

This post is linked to..

A Cornish Mum
My Random Musings

Cuddle Fairy

Mummuddlingthrough

What makes a parent perfect?

This morning I read an article on BBC news titled The ‘perfect’ parent. The purpose of this article, from my understanding, is to reassure parents that there is no perfect parent and it discusses different parenting styles from the worlds many cultures. The article also features a video from American comedy sketch group The BreakWomb. The sketch tells the tale of 3 mums at a ‘Mom’s support group’, admitting to lies they have told to their friends and family, in a hope to come across as the perfect parent.

I found reading about how parents do things in other cultures very interesting but it was the title of the article that really got me thinking. What is a perfect parent? Is perfect parenting an unrealistic goal for parents to have? Am I perfect? Do I care if other people don’t think I am perfect?

I have lots of questions but not many answers. I have no idea what a perfect parent is, the aforementioned article claims a love of broccoli and our children’s ability to recite Shakespeare are good examples of where Mums and Dads have done a top notch job. Frankly, I couldn’t care less if Leo is able to read A midsummer nights dream to me from memory when he is older. Yes, I would be extremely impressed but I can’t do that and, as it goes, I am a happy, round rounded adult who can think for herself; I don’t think my bad memory when it comes to the work of The Immortal Bard is a result of how my parents bought me up.

To me, my parents are perfect. Well, actually, they are perfectly imperfect and that is why I love them. I had a lovely childhood and I always knew they loved me, they still do of course. Yes, they made mistakes but I am glad they did. They taught me it is OK to get things wrong and how to deal with life when it doesn’t go to plan. My parents would both admit they are not perfect and I am glad they aren’t. I would much prefer to have the parents I’ve got than ones who stressed themselves out beyond recognition to try and achieve the, in my opinion, unattainable dream of perfection.

As for me? No, I am not perfect. How could I be? I am a first time Mum, it would be a miracle if I just knew everything and never made a mistake. I frequently suffer with mummy guilt, if I thought I was doing a perfect job these feelings would not exist. I do my best for Leo, some days I do better than others but I am always thinking of him and do what I can to make him happy. I love him unconditionally, as does his Dad, and it is very clear he loves us too. We are doing all we can to bring him up to be an independent, polite, respectful and happy child.

I never lie about my parenting to others. Yes, sometimes I might feel bad for not being able to get Leo to eat vegetables or for letting him spend hours in front of TV but I would rather talk about these things than pretend I am the type of mother people think I should be.

Will Leo think Oli and I have done a perfect job when he grows up? I don’t know. As long as he looks back on his childhood how I remember mine and is happy then I will be happy too. I don’t know what the perfect parent is, I really don’t think there is such thing. Parent’s bring their children up in all kinds of different ways. Yes, there are, unfortunately, people out there who don’t make good parents but the majority of us, well, I think we are doing just fine.

What do you think? Would you say there is such thing as a perfect parent? Or, do you think we all just need to give ourselves a break and just be happy that our children are happy? Let me know 🙂

p.s In case you are having a bad day, here is a funny video I found a few months ago from The BreakWomb..enjoy!

MaternityMondays
Mummuddlingthrough

Where to next?